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A couple of days ago, my six year old daughter faced a crisis that she could not comprehend. Her best friend and neighbor could not come over for dinner because she was sleeping over her favorite aunt’s home.
"Daddy, I don’t understand why she does not want to spend time with me? We haven’t seen each other in days and I really miss her.”
“Sweetheart, it’s not that she does not want to spend time with you, it’s that she loves her auntie and had plans to spend the night. I’m sure you will see her soon.”
“But I want to see her now.”
“I know you do. I’m really sorry. We’ll call her tomorrow.”
“What if she can’t tomorrow?”
“Then we’ll try the next day.”
My six year old’s thumb unapologetically makes its way to her little mouth.
I received a call this evening from the mother of my daughter’s friend. Her favorite aunt had a heart attack at work the same days as the sleep over and passed away suddenly. Her last sleep over with her favorite aunt never took place.
Do we ever learn to deal with tragedy and the incomprehensible? As a child, we have no choice but to surrender to not understanding. Our parents tell us over and over- “because I said so.” As a child we learn to repress our impulse to continue to question because we trust that our parents have the best possible answer.
As adults, we do all we can to grasp for some logical meaning in suffering, searching on our own for seemingly rational answers that fit our world view and definition of fairness. We may even decide that our healthiest course of action is to close our hearts when we don’t understand. We turn our focus on others for blame. Whether it is a vengeful God accused of bringing down a plague or a negligent government condemned for refusing to fortify buildings, we need this redirect of our energy to ease the pain and avoid dealing with our feelings of helplessness and dependency.
Yet it is a breaking heart that opens. Now is the time to open our hearts in union with all those hurting in the aftermath of the earthquake in Porto Au Prince, Haiti. We wonder in abject confusion: what is the purpose of suffering on such a massive scale? The answer comes as a distant voice of a parent saying “because it is so.” The question why did so many earth missions come to an abrupt conclusion today cannot be answered. It is our reality, as is the compassionate response of millions all over the world that are left to continue on the work of rediscovering paradise.
Tomorrow morning, I will go to the funeral of my neighbor’s sister and pay my respects. I will try to explain to my daughter that God was ready to take her home. When she asks Why, I will keep silent and hug her tight.
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