Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Last night my oldest daughter asked me: “Can we write a book together?”
I could tell that she was noticing how much joy it brought me to speak about my book and she wanted a piece of the action. She also wanted to spend more time with daddy.
“Of course we can! What should it be about?”
“About Superman” was her answer.
“I know, how about we write a book called The Superman Effect on Children?”
“I like it!” she said
I opened up a blank Word Document and started writing the title of the book we would write in the future together.
I’ve been thinking about my childhood quite a bit lately. The memories that I have written about have made it possible for me to tell my story, contemplate an expanded vision for the future and give my family an extraordinarily rich life. These troubling memories may at times be as difficult to read as they were to write, but they have all served a higher purpose; they have shaped the man I have become and have been my vehicle for positive change. The effect that these childhood memories of a repressive home had on me was a steely resolve to break the lineage of fear and prolonged psychological trauma. I know that my father experienced the same type of trauma growing up in Puerto Rico and it was a safe bet that so did his father before him.
It was through a blend of prayer and continual self-exploration that I was able to close the book on negative ancestral patterns of behavior and instill my own children with the global belief that life is fun, joyful, abundant and that all things are possible- that scarcity is a myth and that children deserve their childhood. The prayers came from my blessed mother; the tools for self-exploration came from my actor training.
To become an actor, I was stripped naked by my teachers of the belief that I knew what made me tick. I was required, if I was to grow in the craft, to discover the source of my restriction to freedom. I had no choice but to feel the pain that accompanied these restrictions and although it wasn’t until years after I left acting that I was able to find forgiveness, I learned to face my past with honesty and in truth. I am grateful for every day that I spent in grueling self-analysis, even if motivated by “getting into the heart of a character in a play.” I spent years trying to find the origin of my buried anger and the insecurities that surfaced became my daily roadmap. Thankfully, digging a little deeper was welcomed therapy because I wanted to be a great actor and fully understand human behavior.
Whenever I observe myself playfully creating with my children, I thank my mother for her prayers and God for my past. Someday my daughter and I will write a book about the effects that a transformed life has on the young. When we allow ourselves to enjoy life regardless of our present circumstances, what our children pick up on is a world transformed. Happiness becomes their baseline because it is now ours. The next time you see your children, take a moment to realize that you are your children’s world. Yes, it is a heavy responsibility to carry to be your children's constant reminder that life is beautiful, but the Superman Effect on children is their divine right.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 20
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
What is your personal myth?
Swiss psychiatrist, Carl G. Jung explored this question in his book, The Symbols of Transformation. He concluded that we are not primarily driven by sexual desires as promulgated by Freud, but by our own personal myth- The one thing above all else that you live for.
If I lost everything I hold dear: My family, my books, my home, my friends and opportunities for spiritual growth, what would I live for? What would sustain me? As I pondered my own personal myth, I was reminded of a scene from my childhood. When I was seven years old, my parents had over a couple to our apartment in the Bronx. The man constantly and in a brash manner ordered my oldest sister who was ten at the time to fetch him a drink, a book, some food, pretty much anything and everything. Finally, she had enough of acting like his slave and said: “Do I have keep doing what you say all day?” He began to berate my sister and my father let it happen. I had to step in.
“Why don’t you to tell him to leave her alone?” I said- chastising my father.
He then turned to my father and asked permission to discipline me. My father consented and gave him one of his leather belts.
“Who do you think you are speaking to your father like that?” he said as he waived the thick brown leather belt over my face.
I looked over to my father who was stoic and immobile. I looked over at my mother and sisters who were all standing together, helpless and in tears. My mother was yelling at him to stop.
Saying that this was between my father and I and he had no right to discipline me. He ignored her. I began to cry.
“Say you are sorry.” the man said. I said nothing. My father said nothing. I felt so alone. My father had abandoned me and my mother was afraid of intervening.
For my seven year old ego, I had no frame of reference to help me make sense of this traumatic experience except for the crucifixion. My accuser was brutally threatening me. My mother and sisters stood by crying but unable to help me and my God had abandoned me.
“I’m going to give you one last chance to say you are sorry before I use this belt.”
I finally relented and said I was sorry which put an end to my torture. I looked at my father and saw remorse for what he had allowed. He did not say as much but I knew that he was caught up in the moment and he knew not what he was doing. Although I did not feel I deserved to be treated this way, I felt compassion for my troubled dad.
My accuser thought it best to call it a night and we all went to bed never to speak of this incident.
I know to this day that I did the right thing by intervening for my sister. This is my myth. This is what is most important to me. To help those that cannot help themselves, to give voice to the voiceless. If I lost everything I hold dear in life, I would find my life’s work in helping others.
There is a strong current of fear and hopelessness in the American psyche. The current finds a voice in the words of Chris Matthews’ right before Obama’s first State of the Union speech, “Roosevelt had it wrong.” He declared. “The only thing you have to fear isn’t fear itself. People are out of work. This fear is real.”
Well yes, the fear is real and very powerful but it can be overcome. Fear can be overcome by not being afraid of the fear. Witnessing it as a passing, albeit strong emotion and deciding to act in spite of it; believing that better days are ahead. That even if we do not see the next job yet, it is coming our way and it will be better than any job we have ever had up to this point. These new and higher thought forms do a funny thing to fear and the ego; it turns them from your master to your servant. Fear is real, but it does not have to rule you. You can live a life aligned with your gifts and life purpose in whatever vocation you choose.
It is said that the 70% of the American workforce unhappy at their jobs, are simply not wired to do the work they are doing. They may be good at it but they don’t enjoy it and to be wired to do a job means you have both- skill and satisfaction. Instead of looking at the hopelessness of a 10% unemployment rate, why don’t we take this opportunity to find the jobs that we are all wired to do? Fear will keep us from even looking for these types of jobs. Hope reveals entrepreneurs, leaders, teachers, counselors, healers and writers from within those that are currently unemployed. Hope also reveals men and woman perfectly wired to design, build, construct, and repair. This time is a glorious opportunity to realign all of our talents with our life’s work. Let’s call it the ultimate market correction.
The answers come from within. Fear just keeps us from even asking any empowering questions. If you didn’t get the job you applied for, ask yourself: “Is there any part of me that did not want to get this job?” Envision a job that makes you happy. There are people for whom driving a truck cross country or picking up 40 lb boxes all day puts them in a state of bliss. For me, it’s helping others through my writing. Our business is to find out what puts us in a state of bliss. The rest is God’s business.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
What is your personal myth?
Swiss psychiatrist, Carl G. Jung explored this question in his book, The Symbols of Transformation. He concluded that we are not primarily driven by sexual desires as promulgated by Freud, but by our own personal myth- The one thing above all else that you live for.
If I lost everything I hold dear: My family, my books, my home, my friends and opportunities for spiritual growth, what would I live for? What would sustain me? As I pondered my own personal myth, I was reminded of a scene from my childhood. When I was seven years old, my parents had over a couple to our apartment in the Bronx. The man constantly and in a brash manner ordered my oldest sister who was ten at the time to fetch him a drink, a book, some food, pretty much anything and everything. Finally, she had enough of acting like his slave and said: “Do I have keep doing what you say all day?” He began to berate my sister and my father let it happen. I had to step in.
“Why don’t you to tell him to leave her alone?” I said- chastising my father.
He then turned to my father and asked permission to discipline me. My father consented and gave him one of his leather belts.
“Who do you think you are speaking to your father like that?” he said as he waived the thick brown leather belt over my face.
I looked over to my father who was stoic and immobile. I looked over at my mother and sisters who were all standing together, helpless and in tears. My mother was yelling at him to stop.
Saying that this was between my father and I and he had no right to discipline me. He ignored her. I began to cry.
“Say you are sorry.” the man said. I said nothing. My father said nothing. I felt so alone. My father had abandoned me and my mother was afraid of intervening.
For my seven year old ego, I had no frame of reference to help me make sense of this traumatic experience except for the crucifixion. My accuser was brutally threatening me. My mother and sisters stood by crying but unable to help me and my God had abandoned me.
“I’m going to give you one last chance to say you are sorry before I use this belt.”
I finally relented and said I was sorry which put an end to my torture. I looked at my father and saw remorse for what he had allowed. He did not say as much but I knew that he was caught up in the moment and he knew not what he was doing. Although I did not feel I deserved to be treated this way, I felt compassion for my troubled dad.
My accuser thought it best to call it a night and we all went to bed never to speak of this incident.
I know to this day that I did the right thing by intervening for my sister. This is my myth. This is what is most important to me. To help those that cannot help themselves, to give voice to the voiceless. If I lost everything I hold dear in life, I would find my life’s work in helping others.
There is a strong current of fear and hopelessness in the American psyche. The current finds a voice in the words of Chris Matthews’ right before Obama’s first State of the Union speech, “Roosevelt had it wrong.” He declared. “The only thing you have to fear isn’t fear itself. People are out of work. This fear is real.”
Well yes, the fear is real and very powerful but it can be overcome. Fear can be overcome by not being afraid of the fear. Witnessing it as a passing, albeit strong emotion and deciding to act in spite of it; believing that better days are ahead. That even if we do not see the next job yet, it is coming our way and it will be better than any job we have ever had up to this point. These new and higher thought forms do a funny thing to fear and the ego; it turns them from your master to your servant. Fear is real, but it does not have to rule you. You can live a life aligned with your gifts and life purpose in whatever vocation you choose.
It is said that the 70% of the American workforce unhappy at their jobs, are simply not wired to do the work they are doing. They may be good at it but they don’t enjoy it and to be wired to do a job means you have both- skill and satisfaction. Instead of looking at the hopelessness of a 10% unemployment rate, why don’t we take this opportunity to find the jobs that we are all wired to do? Fear will keep us from even looking for these types of jobs. Hope reveals entrepreneurs, leaders, teachers, counselors, healers and writers from within those that are currently unemployed. Hope also reveals men and woman perfectly wired to design, build, construct, and repair. This time is a glorious opportunity to realign all of our talents with our life’s work. Let’s call it the ultimate market correction.
The answers come from within. Fear just keeps us from even asking any empowering questions. If you didn’t get the job you applied for, ask yourself: “Is there any part of me that did not want to get this job?” Envision a job that makes you happy. There are people for whom driving a truck cross country or picking up 40 lb boxes all day puts them in a state of bliss. For me, it’s helping others through my writing. Our business is to find out what puts us in a state of bliss. The rest is God’s business.
Friday, January 29, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 19
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Version #1
“I had a feeling my father in law was going through a difficult time with the third anniversary of his wife’s passing so I started to pray for him.”
Sounds normal enough; the expression of intuition in digestible bites. Here is another version, no less true than the first:
“After I had finished last night’s blog entry, I began my meditation using the rosary. I did not get through the first decade before I began to feel aware of spirit presence. It was definitely the energy of my mother in law. I was reminded of her call for me to “help her” during the days leading up to her passing. I asked whether she was trying to communicate to me through my daughter’s call for help that night. She then revealed to me that she was not, but that my father in law was. His spirit was in a profound struggle to let go of my mother in law and move on with his life even after three years had passed. He was afraid his loneliness was causing him to lose his mind.
I immediately recalled what my daughter had said when I asked her what was scaring her and causing her to cry for help?
“My mind.”
Now here is where the man who is still in the closet would normally stop, but since I’m out…
“My mother in law revealed to me that my daughter was acting as a messenger of my father in law’s spirit personality in turmoil. In the physical, he just seems depressed and lonely. He is not even aware of how pronounced his struggle with life is right now. There is a spiritual dimension in which his struggle is much deeper and his mind has barriers that keep him from having any awareness of his higher self. He is beset by guilt over past experiences and sees no prospect of a happy life without her.”
So is it possible for a six year old to channel the spirit of someone still alive and send a message a thousand miles away? In a world that is now open to the theory of non-locality, changes at the sub-atomic level being caused by mere observation, and all matter being made up of energy with thought as its essence- anything is possible. My mother in law asked me to transmute healing energy into all of his energy centers. He is afraid of surviving on his own, without the company of a woman, he is looking for his power center, a way to soften his heart, speak about his feelings, listen to his intuition and connect with God. So I sent healing energy to each of his seven chakras and then went to bed to tell my wife what had transpired. My wife called him today to counsel him and said he seemed so much lighter.
If my experience seems unique to you it is only because most people just stay open to and reveal version #1. Most of us go through life filtering out the moments that don’t jive with empirical reality and socially acceptable norms. Some of us allow ourselves to experience these moments with little judgment, but we don’t share them with others. It is these moments of mystery that expand our conceptual framework of who we are and how far-reaching our impact is on the world. These experiences are becoming increasingly frequent at this moment in our history.
People from all walks of life are awakening to the transmutation of healing energies across time and space for the purpose of furthering our evolution.
In business, we love to use the term “think outside the box” or “let’s brainstorm together.” What a wonderful prospect it is to have a world view that allows the creative process to unfold-without any judgments or approval by pragmatic minds. Treasures are discovered spontaneously.
The world is no longer flat so anything is now possible. My litmus test as to whether or not I am interested in any experience is: “does it make me feel lighter and does it make those I am working on want to do the same for others?”
Ancient Egyptian: "Do for one who may do for you, that you may cause him thus to do." The Tale of the Eloquent Peasant, 109 - 110 Translated by R.B. Parkinson. The original dates to circa 1800 BCE and may be the earliest version of the Epic of Reciprocity (the Golden Rule) ever written.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Version #1
“I had a feeling my father in law was going through a difficult time with the third anniversary of his wife’s passing so I started to pray for him.”
Sounds normal enough; the expression of intuition in digestible bites. Here is another version, no less true than the first:
“After I had finished last night’s blog entry, I began my meditation using the rosary. I did not get through the first decade before I began to feel aware of spirit presence. It was definitely the energy of my mother in law. I was reminded of her call for me to “help her” during the days leading up to her passing. I asked whether she was trying to communicate to me through my daughter’s call for help that night. She then revealed to me that she was not, but that my father in law was. His spirit was in a profound struggle to let go of my mother in law and move on with his life even after three years had passed. He was afraid his loneliness was causing him to lose his mind.
I immediately recalled what my daughter had said when I asked her what was scaring her and causing her to cry for help?
“My mind.”
Now here is where the man who is still in the closet would normally stop, but since I’m out…
“My mother in law revealed to me that my daughter was acting as a messenger of my father in law’s spirit personality in turmoil. In the physical, he just seems depressed and lonely. He is not even aware of how pronounced his struggle with life is right now. There is a spiritual dimension in which his struggle is much deeper and his mind has barriers that keep him from having any awareness of his higher self. He is beset by guilt over past experiences and sees no prospect of a happy life without her.”
So is it possible for a six year old to channel the spirit of someone still alive and send a message a thousand miles away? In a world that is now open to the theory of non-locality, changes at the sub-atomic level being caused by mere observation, and all matter being made up of energy with thought as its essence- anything is possible. My mother in law asked me to transmute healing energy into all of his energy centers. He is afraid of surviving on his own, without the company of a woman, he is looking for his power center, a way to soften his heart, speak about his feelings, listen to his intuition and connect with God. So I sent healing energy to each of his seven chakras and then went to bed to tell my wife what had transpired. My wife called him today to counsel him and said he seemed so much lighter.
If my experience seems unique to you it is only because most people just stay open to and reveal version #1. Most of us go through life filtering out the moments that don’t jive with empirical reality and socially acceptable norms. Some of us allow ourselves to experience these moments with little judgment, but we don’t share them with others. It is these moments of mystery that expand our conceptual framework of who we are and how far-reaching our impact is on the world. These experiences are becoming increasingly frequent at this moment in our history.
People from all walks of life are awakening to the transmutation of healing energies across time and space for the purpose of furthering our evolution.
In business, we love to use the term “think outside the box” or “let’s brainstorm together.” What a wonderful prospect it is to have a world view that allows the creative process to unfold-without any judgments or approval by pragmatic minds. Treasures are discovered spontaneously.
The world is no longer flat so anything is now possible. My litmus test as to whether or not I am interested in any experience is: “does it make me feel lighter and does it make those I am working on want to do the same for others?”
Ancient Egyptian: "Do for one who may do for you, that you may cause him thus to do." The Tale of the Eloquent Peasant, 109 - 110 Translated by R.B. Parkinson. The original dates to circa 1800 BCE and may be the earliest version of the Epic of Reciprocity (the Golden Rule) ever written.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 18
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Today is the third anniversary of my mother in law’s passing. It was a rough evening for all of us. My wife and I had little patience for our two daughter’s misbehavior and hourly tantrums. At one point in the night, we let our oldest daughter just scream and shout in her room. Her choice of words accompanying her wailing was disturbing, but we decided to let her try and calm herself down. She repeated over and over: “help me, help me.” After about a minute, my wife stepped in and attempted to explain how a cry of “help me” can be misinterpreted by the neighbors. I asked my daughter: “What is scaring you?
Through tears she said: "My mind".
Through a bewildered look, I tried to explain to her as best I could that our mind can’t hurt us. That it is just like our dreams. I said a prayer with her and put her to bed.
Last night I saw a ghost with my eyes open for the first time in months. He was a Caucasian man in his mid-60’s standing right next to my side of the bed. Since I had not seen a ghost in so long, I was a bit startled and as soon as I became aware of him, he vanished before I could find out what he wanted. He left me with the impression that he was a kind spirit. What was more surprising was that my youngest daughter, who has not slept in her room a whole night in months for fear of “the woman” or a host of other excuses given to hop into “mommy bed”, slept in her own “big girl bed” soundly all night.
What I find fascinating about all of my communications with earthbound spirits is that they have a similar story to reveal to me. They seem confused but my very presence or anyone else who has an awareness of them, causes the spirit to reclaim a form that they can perceive as real. It’s as if they need us to project their existence. Without me noticing them, they question whether they exist and seem dazed and alarmed. When I notice them, they snap to attention. When I communicate with them, they listen and when I send them towards self-forgiveness, they obey.
It got me thinking, isn’t that what we think we need from each other: validation from others that we and our place in the world makes sense and has significance? We want to be noticed, we want to be seen and heard, and we want to be loved. How good does it feel to hear the words: “I’ve been thinking about you”?
I remember years ago seeing a video of a series of Hakomi sessions in Boulder, CO. A woman was undergoing somatic experience therapy and the multiple sessions were taped. She exhibited so much resistance in the early sessions. You could tell she was not prepared to discard her hard exterior for fear of what she might find inside. By the eighth session however, after having breathed through so many blocks in different parts of her body, she had a cathartic breakthrough. After sobbing, her face softened and she repeated the same phrase over and over: “I exist, I exist. I exist” She had a look of amazement over a fact that is often taken for granted: The miracle of our own existence. Nothing else. Not “I am perfect, wonderful, a child of the Most High, loved, a good father, a good wife. Nothing else. Simply-“I exist.” “My life has meaning because I exist.” I deserve happiness because I exist.” “I don’t have to fear death because I exist.”
So maybe the spirits who have not crossed over need to be reminded that they exist. They can let go of the old plane of reality that is riddled with guilt, sorrow, worry and identification with roles.
Next week, I start a Spiritual Life Coach Certification program. I have a feeling I have not seen the last of my Casper friends.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Today is the third anniversary of my mother in law’s passing. It was a rough evening for all of us. My wife and I had little patience for our two daughter’s misbehavior and hourly tantrums. At one point in the night, we let our oldest daughter just scream and shout in her room. Her choice of words accompanying her wailing was disturbing, but we decided to let her try and calm herself down. She repeated over and over: “help me, help me.” After about a minute, my wife stepped in and attempted to explain how a cry of “help me” can be misinterpreted by the neighbors. I asked my daughter: “What is scaring you?
Through tears she said: "My mind".
Through a bewildered look, I tried to explain to her as best I could that our mind can’t hurt us. That it is just like our dreams. I said a prayer with her and put her to bed.
Last night I saw a ghost with my eyes open for the first time in months. He was a Caucasian man in his mid-60’s standing right next to my side of the bed. Since I had not seen a ghost in so long, I was a bit startled and as soon as I became aware of him, he vanished before I could find out what he wanted. He left me with the impression that he was a kind spirit. What was more surprising was that my youngest daughter, who has not slept in her room a whole night in months for fear of “the woman” or a host of other excuses given to hop into “mommy bed”, slept in her own “big girl bed” soundly all night.
What I find fascinating about all of my communications with earthbound spirits is that they have a similar story to reveal to me. They seem confused but my very presence or anyone else who has an awareness of them, causes the spirit to reclaim a form that they can perceive as real. It’s as if they need us to project their existence. Without me noticing them, they question whether they exist and seem dazed and alarmed. When I notice them, they snap to attention. When I communicate with them, they listen and when I send them towards self-forgiveness, they obey.
It got me thinking, isn’t that what we think we need from each other: validation from others that we and our place in the world makes sense and has significance? We want to be noticed, we want to be seen and heard, and we want to be loved. How good does it feel to hear the words: “I’ve been thinking about you”?
I remember years ago seeing a video of a series of Hakomi sessions in Boulder, CO. A woman was undergoing somatic experience therapy and the multiple sessions were taped. She exhibited so much resistance in the early sessions. You could tell she was not prepared to discard her hard exterior for fear of what she might find inside. By the eighth session however, after having breathed through so many blocks in different parts of her body, she had a cathartic breakthrough. After sobbing, her face softened and she repeated the same phrase over and over: “I exist, I exist. I exist” She had a look of amazement over a fact that is often taken for granted: The miracle of our own existence. Nothing else. Not “I am perfect, wonderful, a child of the Most High, loved, a good father, a good wife. Nothing else. Simply-“I exist.” “My life has meaning because I exist.” I deserve happiness because I exist.” “I don’t have to fear death because I exist.”
So maybe the spirits who have not crossed over need to be reminded that they exist. They can let go of the old plane of reality that is riddled with guilt, sorrow, worry and identification with roles.
Next week, I start a Spiritual Life Coach Certification program. I have a feeling I have not seen the last of my Casper friends.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 17
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
I had the same two voice and speech teachers throughout my years at Boston University. They were two of the most wonderful people you could ever meet. One was a serious vocal coach and actor with a strong baritone voice and credentials spanning 30 years, the other was a happy go lucky, short, flamboyant man who cared as much about your youthful happiness as he did about your training. They had also been life partners for over 20 years.
The door to my joyful and gay teacher was a revolving one. Student after student would go to his office for two reasons: To smoke cigarettes (which you could still do in 1988) while sitting on his comfy leather couch, and to come up for air. The outside world was so restrictive. You had to please your parents, your new teachers, your peers and yourself. At 16 years of age, I could talk to him about my homesickness and my feelings of guilt about being too tired to pick up the phone when my dad would call in the mornings. I could pour out my confusion about the looks I would get in class. Is it because I’m the only Puerto Rican here or is it because I’m from the Bronx?
“Dennis, don’t worry about whether others accept you. I think you’re pretty perfect.”
He treated everyone as uniquely perfect; especially those that were terrified over what to do about their attraction towards the same sex. These kids were hurting and needed to be reminded that they are perfect the way God made them. Everyone went to him and everyone felt better.
It is not easy to be a teenager in college. How can you accept yourself when everywhere you look, there is judgment, criticism and in worst cases- condemnation? When we find a portal that relieves us from believing that the path to fulfillment is through what other’s project as the socially acceptable you, you start to finally breathe. That simple reminder of our perfection nourishes the soul and helps us to carry on the search for our truth.
We have very few places in life where we can explore our truest selves; a place of non-judgment, with no requirements that you play any role. The most heart-breaking aspect is what happens to a life that does not find a place to come up for air. Feelings of anger at the injustice of not being allowed to be you start to bubble up. It is either expressed or suppressed, turning into guilt and self hatred for having to live a lie. All of our actions become colored by these feelings of discontent and we become depressed and frightened at the prospect of never finding our true life purpose because we have no recollection of who we truly are.
Then comes a book, a lover, a teacher, a minister or if we’re lucky a family member that cuts right through all of our undesired masks and only sees light. You start to see your own light reflected through their acceptance. Like attracts like so you run into others that are willing to accept all of you. You begin to accept yourself and to be happy again, so you decide the time has come for a coming out party.
My teacher told me during the spring of my first year in college: “When I was a kid Dennis, I used to love to play with fronds on Palm Sunday.”
I didn’t say anything but I was going to thank him for all he did for me by bringing him some fronds the following Monday after Palm Sunday. I brought him fronds every year while I was at the university and he would hang it up on his office wall until the following year.
In 2000, I received an email that he had passed away. I was able to get a hold of the email address of my other teacher, his partner and expressed my sorrow. His partner responded:
“You know Dennis, those fronds you gave him, he kept them all these years. It meant the world to him that you remembered to bring them.”
Fronds or palm branches are a symbol of triumph and divine kingship. I wonder if he ever knew how much his presence and the simple reminders of our kingship meant to all the students he touched.
“God has given you one face, and you make yourself another”- Hamlet by William Shakespeare
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
I had the same two voice and speech teachers throughout my years at Boston University. They were two of the most wonderful people you could ever meet. One was a serious vocal coach and actor with a strong baritone voice and credentials spanning 30 years, the other was a happy go lucky, short, flamboyant man who cared as much about your youthful happiness as he did about your training. They had also been life partners for over 20 years.
The door to my joyful and gay teacher was a revolving one. Student after student would go to his office for two reasons: To smoke cigarettes (which you could still do in 1988) while sitting on his comfy leather couch, and to come up for air. The outside world was so restrictive. You had to please your parents, your new teachers, your peers and yourself. At 16 years of age, I could talk to him about my homesickness and my feelings of guilt about being too tired to pick up the phone when my dad would call in the mornings. I could pour out my confusion about the looks I would get in class. Is it because I’m the only Puerto Rican here or is it because I’m from the Bronx?
“Dennis, don’t worry about whether others accept you. I think you’re pretty perfect.”
He treated everyone as uniquely perfect; especially those that were terrified over what to do about their attraction towards the same sex. These kids were hurting and needed to be reminded that they are perfect the way God made them. Everyone went to him and everyone felt better.
It is not easy to be a teenager in college. How can you accept yourself when everywhere you look, there is judgment, criticism and in worst cases- condemnation? When we find a portal that relieves us from believing that the path to fulfillment is through what other’s project as the socially acceptable you, you start to finally breathe. That simple reminder of our perfection nourishes the soul and helps us to carry on the search for our truth.
We have very few places in life where we can explore our truest selves; a place of non-judgment, with no requirements that you play any role. The most heart-breaking aspect is what happens to a life that does not find a place to come up for air. Feelings of anger at the injustice of not being allowed to be you start to bubble up. It is either expressed or suppressed, turning into guilt and self hatred for having to live a lie. All of our actions become colored by these feelings of discontent and we become depressed and frightened at the prospect of never finding our true life purpose because we have no recollection of who we truly are.
Then comes a book, a lover, a teacher, a minister or if we’re lucky a family member that cuts right through all of our undesired masks and only sees light. You start to see your own light reflected through their acceptance. Like attracts like so you run into others that are willing to accept all of you. You begin to accept yourself and to be happy again, so you decide the time has come for a coming out party.
My teacher told me during the spring of my first year in college: “When I was a kid Dennis, I used to love to play with fronds on Palm Sunday.”
I didn’t say anything but I was going to thank him for all he did for me by bringing him some fronds the following Monday after Palm Sunday. I brought him fronds every year while I was at the university and he would hang it up on his office wall until the following year.
In 2000, I received an email that he had passed away. I was able to get a hold of the email address of my other teacher, his partner and expressed my sorrow. His partner responded:
“You know Dennis, those fronds you gave him, he kept them all these years. It meant the world to him that you remembered to bring them.”
Fronds or palm branches are a symbol of triumph and divine kingship. I wonder if he ever knew how much his presence and the simple reminders of our kingship meant to all the students he touched.
“God has given you one face, and you make yourself another”- Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 16
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
“There is so much pain in your eyes.” It did not take long for my future wife to notice.
“We have to leave him Mommy. We can move to Puerto Rico. He will never find us. All four of us kids agreed and pleaded with her- “We have to leave him now.”
“Como podemos?” How can we?” she asks.
We knew that my mother was scared and could not take care of us all by herself. We had no one to turn to, but we had to do something. He had become so angry and worse, that day he let his anger turn to violence. We convinced my mother to wait until he leaves for work at 10pm and at least spend the night at a neighbor’s home. With no plan for the future, all four of us slept on the floor; at least we tried to.
My father rarely carried keys to the house. Usually my mother would lock the door behind him when he left for work at the Bronx terminal market. He would knock on the door for one of us to let him in when he arrived. His knock was loud and recognizable and it would let us know to take a break from the good times. That night, we took the keys and left the door unlocked for his return.
When he arrived that morning, he must have seen the note my mom left him: “We are leaving you and never coming back. We cannot live like this anymore. The kids are so scared of you.” He began to call around and it did not take him long to reach my mother’s best friend and neighbor.”
“Chany’s on the phone.”
My mother snaps back with fear and fury “Yo no quiero hablar con el.” “I don’t want to talk to him.”
“He said he wants you all to come home and that you have the only set of keys. He does not want to leave for work that night without locking the door.”
“I will send Dennis.” she says
“What? Me?” I asked, hoping to escape this dreaded initiation rite.
“He hit your sister. It has to be you.”
“Do it for Mommy.” One of my sisters blurts out.
“OK. I’ll do it.”
I was only 11 years old and I had never been as scared as I was that day walking from our neighbor’s home to ours. “I have to be strong for my mother and sisters." I felt so small and vulnerable, confused as to why I was forced to act like a man. “I cannot cry. I have to be strong.”
I entered the house and pressed on to the kitchen all the while dreading the next moment. There he was. There was no sign of anger or of any emotion. We just stared each other. He looks at me and says: “what does she want me to do?”
I started to quiver. I could not hold it in anymore. I was a child in pain and so I cried. “I want you to stop fighting!”
His eyes began to water and he took a step towards me. I jerked away a bit and then he turned into my dad. He hugged me and said through sobs: “I promise I will not fight anymore. I am so sorry.”
At the moment of our embrace, I could feel the pain behind the anger. It was the pain of a man who was lost- a man who hated himself for not being able to control his passions. A man who lived a lie in the eyes of most people he knew. It was the pain of a man who needed his father to embrace him and tell him he was sorry a long time ago. It was the pain of a man who did not feel he deserved the love of his family.
My father thought he kept his promise because he never hit us again, but the daily bursts of anger continued for years. That is, until disease took away his strength and he learned to surrender to his truest self. He learned to stop fighting.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
“There is so much pain in your eyes.” It did not take long for my future wife to notice.
“We have to leave him Mommy. We can move to Puerto Rico. He will never find us. All four of us kids agreed and pleaded with her- “We have to leave him now.”
“Como podemos?” How can we?” she asks.
We knew that my mother was scared and could not take care of us all by herself. We had no one to turn to, but we had to do something. He had become so angry and worse, that day he let his anger turn to violence. We convinced my mother to wait until he leaves for work at 10pm and at least spend the night at a neighbor’s home. With no plan for the future, all four of us slept on the floor; at least we tried to.
My father rarely carried keys to the house. Usually my mother would lock the door behind him when he left for work at the Bronx terminal market. He would knock on the door for one of us to let him in when he arrived. His knock was loud and recognizable and it would let us know to take a break from the good times. That night, we took the keys and left the door unlocked for his return.
When he arrived that morning, he must have seen the note my mom left him: “We are leaving you and never coming back. We cannot live like this anymore. The kids are so scared of you.” He began to call around and it did not take him long to reach my mother’s best friend and neighbor.”
“Chany’s on the phone.”
My mother snaps back with fear and fury “Yo no quiero hablar con el.” “I don’t want to talk to him.”
“He said he wants you all to come home and that you have the only set of keys. He does not want to leave for work that night without locking the door.”
“I will send Dennis.” she says
“What? Me?” I asked, hoping to escape this dreaded initiation rite.
“He hit your sister. It has to be you.”
“Do it for Mommy.” One of my sisters blurts out.
“OK. I’ll do it.”
I was only 11 years old and I had never been as scared as I was that day walking from our neighbor’s home to ours. “I have to be strong for my mother and sisters." I felt so small and vulnerable, confused as to why I was forced to act like a man. “I cannot cry. I have to be strong.”
I entered the house and pressed on to the kitchen all the while dreading the next moment. There he was. There was no sign of anger or of any emotion. We just stared each other. He looks at me and says: “what does she want me to do?”
I started to quiver. I could not hold it in anymore. I was a child in pain and so I cried. “I want you to stop fighting!”
His eyes began to water and he took a step towards me. I jerked away a bit and then he turned into my dad. He hugged me and said through sobs: “I promise I will not fight anymore. I am so sorry.”
At the moment of our embrace, I could feel the pain behind the anger. It was the pain of a man who was lost- a man who hated himself for not being able to control his passions. A man who lived a lie in the eyes of most people he knew. It was the pain of a man who needed his father to embrace him and tell him he was sorry a long time ago. It was the pain of a man who did not feel he deserved the love of his family.
My father thought he kept his promise because he never hit us again, but the daily bursts of anger continued for years. That is, until disease took away his strength and he learned to surrender to his truest self. He learned to stop fighting.
Monday, January 25, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 15
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
As the recession of the 1980’s brought with it a surge of all things angelic- angel sightings, angel books, angel cards and the setting of the Broadway hit play, Angels in America; similarly, the second decade of the 21st century is witnessing a convergence of belief in manifestation. New Age thought and the prosperity gospel are finding common ground in the belief that we are all highly favored and deserve to be blessed. Science and religion are realizing that the quest for a unified theory leads to a field of energy that is conscious of itself- revealing the mind of God, through the mind of creation. Recognizing the importance of right brain functions; modern psychology look to tools such as somatic experience, emotional freedom technique and brain frequency entrainment as necessary compliments to talk therapy. So what is going on? It’s simple: We want to understand how to feel better!
But to want to feel better has taken millions of years of evolution. Throughout human history, we have looked up at the stars and saw powers that we concluded must be much greater than ourselves. The kingdom of God must be up and out there somewhere. We can understand the game of the hunt, but the heavens can only be glimpsed if we were worthy. Those that knew they were worthy saw the kingdom of God within-but few came to this realization. Since it was not a foregone conclusion that we were worthy to look beyond the veil, we presupposed our unworthiness and sought out priests among us that might be worthy. These priests were not sure of their worthiness either so they looked to one among them that could play the role of High Priest. The High Priest wasn’t totally certain of their worthiness. “Only God was worthy to be called good.”Like a concerned parent, those in power feared spoiling their children or not preparing them for the harshness of life, so they made sure the rest of the “unworthilings” learn to earn every temporal and eternal reward. We have even ritualized our dependency and say in unison “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you.”
The ego has created mental safety nets to keep us in a state of unworthiness, fearing that someone or something might challenge any delusions of grandeur and knock us off our tower of Babel. “What if I fail? I can’t fail if I don’t try.” Not trying feels empty, dry and confusing far from our homeostasis. We start to notice that people that try, have more experiences of satisfaction than of disappointments. Those people laugh all the time, study up relentlessly, work out, meditate, and believe. We start to notice how we feel and look inside ourselves for answers. When a simple answer to a complex question makes itself known, we ask: How did I do that?
“Well you did do that. Your awareness and acceptance of how you feel opened the door to more of the Field, a network of answers. YOU decide if you deserve to do it again. If you decide that you deserve to get answers, then answers you will get.”
So here we are. We are collectively waking up to the knowledge that we deserve to get answers. We have been made worthy so let’s think up some great questions.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
As the recession of the 1980’s brought with it a surge of all things angelic- angel sightings, angel books, angel cards and the setting of the Broadway hit play, Angels in America; similarly, the second decade of the 21st century is witnessing a convergence of belief in manifestation. New Age thought and the prosperity gospel are finding common ground in the belief that we are all highly favored and deserve to be blessed. Science and religion are realizing that the quest for a unified theory leads to a field of energy that is conscious of itself- revealing the mind of God, through the mind of creation. Recognizing the importance of right brain functions; modern psychology look to tools such as somatic experience, emotional freedom technique and brain frequency entrainment as necessary compliments to talk therapy. So what is going on? It’s simple: We want to understand how to feel better!
But to want to feel better has taken millions of years of evolution. Throughout human history, we have looked up at the stars and saw powers that we concluded must be much greater than ourselves. The kingdom of God must be up and out there somewhere. We can understand the game of the hunt, but the heavens can only be glimpsed if we were worthy. Those that knew they were worthy saw the kingdom of God within-but few came to this realization. Since it was not a foregone conclusion that we were worthy to look beyond the veil, we presupposed our unworthiness and sought out priests among us that might be worthy. These priests were not sure of their worthiness either so they looked to one among them that could play the role of High Priest. The High Priest wasn’t totally certain of their worthiness. “Only God was worthy to be called good.”Like a concerned parent, those in power feared spoiling their children or not preparing them for the harshness of life, so they made sure the rest of the “unworthilings” learn to earn every temporal and eternal reward. We have even ritualized our dependency and say in unison “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you.”
The ego has created mental safety nets to keep us in a state of unworthiness, fearing that someone or something might challenge any delusions of grandeur and knock us off our tower of Babel. “What if I fail? I can’t fail if I don’t try.” Not trying feels empty, dry and confusing far from our homeostasis. We start to notice that people that try, have more experiences of satisfaction than of disappointments. Those people laugh all the time, study up relentlessly, work out, meditate, and believe. We start to notice how we feel and look inside ourselves for answers. When a simple answer to a complex question makes itself known, we ask: How did I do that?
“Well you did do that. Your awareness and acceptance of how you feel opened the door to more of the Field, a network of answers. YOU decide if you deserve to do it again. If you decide that you deserve to get answers, then answers you will get.”
So here we are. We are collectively waking up to the knowledge that we deserve to get answers. We have been made worthy so let’s think up some great questions.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 14
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Can we ever be certain of our intuition?
It was the fall of 1994 and I was in the middle of my first term of a Master of Fine Arts program at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. We were about to start morning voice and speech warm up when a classmate of mine storms through the Performing Arts Center doors in our usual dramatic fashion.
“Fellas” he began. “I have just seen the woman I’m going to marry. She is a red-head, and I am in love.”
“Did you introduce yourself?” I asked
“Well no, not yet.”
As soon as class was over, another friend of mine and I decide to see for ourselves. We peaked into the adjacent dance studio and asked the love stricken puppy to point her out.
I turn to my other friend. “She is cute. I’m going to have to help this poor boy.” I figured, he was a country bumpkin and I was a street wise kid from the Bronx. I was sure I could help him cut to the chase and impress her.
I spent the next month advising him on how to approach her. What to say, what not to say. I became his Cyrano De Bergerac except he was too scared to speak to her. I introduced myself to the girl before he allowed himself to. I figured it was all for a good cause.
Then came the night I was to meet another classmate to rehearse a scene from Anton Chekov’s play Three Sisters. My scene partner was quite a character. When we would rehearse in her home she would be stricken with a case of narcolepsy and would fall asleep standing- in the middle of our scene! Was I that boring of an actor? I told her we just had to find a place to rehearse that would keep her awake, so we decided to meet the following evening at the Performing Arts Center. She was running late and there I was waiting in the front of the building for my sleeping beauty. Someone else was waiting. It was the red-headed girl. I felt a tug to strike up a conversation. I did not question my intuition. I went over and found out that she was waiting for some friends to celebrate her 21st birthday. We chatted for a few minutes and finally my scene partner arrived.
“Well, I’ve got to go.” I said. Happy Birthday.”
I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. I guarantee you that had I thought for a moment about kissing her on the cheek, I would not have done so. It was one of those rare but exquisite movements that have nothing to do with conscious awareness. You are being moved. The universe does not give you the option to resist or to override. You don’t surrender to the moment. The moment just happens.
My narcoleptic scene partner witnessed my brass and was wide-eyed when we walked into the PAC.
“What are you doing? Are you trying to steal her away?”
“I’m not doing anything. I just gave her a kiss on the cheek. It’s her birthday.”
I truly meant it at the time. Well, my Shakespearean classmate in love did have one date with the girl. There was in her words, “no chemistry." All he did with all the poetic lines I gave him was crack jokes. He gave up his quest to marry the red-head and soon left the university before the first year was out.
It took a few chance encounters and a new year’s resolution to start dating for me to finally ask her out. I did and within three months after our first date, she was inviting me to spend a month with her at her parent's home in Vancouver, Canada. How could I resist. The closest this New Yorker had ever been to the west coast was right where I was standing- Kansas City, Missouri. Sounds like an adventure.
I was not sure where our relationship was going, but she was about to teach me the meaning of certainty.
We were at a seafood restaurant on Vancouver Island enjoying the local catch, when she turns to me and says: “You are the one.”
“I’m the one what?”
“You are the one I’m going to marry.”
My universes split in two. Like a scene from the old show, Ally McBeal. One thought played itself out in my head.
“Can I have the check?”
Another thought actually became reality.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“Because I know.”
We just sat there. I did not question her any further. She had a look of assurance that I could not diminish.
We had only been dating for a few months, but she knew that she and I would be married. 15 years and two little angels later, here we are.
My wife is the visionary of the family. She has seen my potential years before I allowed myself to even consider a higher purpose. She was the one who said to me years ago. “You will be a published author. You will heal through your words”. I have questioned my intuition at times, but have never doubted hers.
Yesterday I received a call from a publisher of a world-wide company who has been moved and inspired by my blog to start circulating it around her company. When I told my wife, she began to well up.
“Why are you crying? I asked.
She then said: “Because this confirms what I have always seen and felt about you. It confirms my own path. I am here to see, then watch things unfold."
I was told not to get my hopes up about getting my blog published as a book. My response is still the same: "Why not?" Why not get my hopes up? I'm not after a book deal. I'm after a state of being. If it feels good to dream of a major book deal, then I choose to feel good. Tomorrow will worry about itself. What is the worst thing that can happen if I get my hopes up? I will still be here. The only difference is that if I get my hopes up and it does not work out, I would have enjoyed the possibility process and have some great memories!
This is the shift I write about. We spend too much time mentally and emotionally preparing ourselves to not be disappointed because it hurts to be let down. The amazing secret is that it is only by allowing ourselves to enjoy the dream of possibilities, even if they do not materialize the way we want them to, expansion, freedom and growth has to flourish. When we get our hopes up, we communicate with creative forces using thier language- feelings of joy.
"Oh, but Dennis, you don't want to jinx it by speaking about a book deal." Where do we get these odd beliefs? So there is voodoo involved in reaching for the stars? We have developed a whole societal infrastructure around preparing for the worst, yet we have more role models than ever before teaching us that we can have it all if we allow ourselves to think, feel, act and play as if we already do. It is time to let go of the notion that we better protect ourselves from disappointments. While we play this mental game of no-risk, a more exciting game is passing us by: Life.
In the meantime, I will dream of getting a wide distribution of my books. I will feel good now and if it does not happen, then I would have had some great feel good moments in the process. There is so much power in feeling as if you already have what you want. The deeper lesson lies in feeling good now, regardless of your circumstances.
Trust that inner voice beckoning you to think big.
If we believe that we are creating our reality as we go along, then intuition is nothing else but our own unique formula for that which we are creating. It is the feelings behind manifestation.
Intuition can indeed keep you from moving in a direction that may be dangerous, but it can also provide you, like it did for my wife, with the sense of peace and confidence needed to surrender to an action that opens doors.
A way to cultivate intuition is to first believe that it is our native language. Human beings are all born with this guidance system and if we choose not to believe so, it remains latent in us. It all starts with belief.
Another way to awaken intuition is to slow down enough to create space between our judgmental thoughts. Take time to, as Ram Dass says “digest your life experiences.” We are so busy having experiences and judging them good or bad that we don’t take the time to just sit and let our natural processes integrate our experiences for our highest good. Intuitive moments are born out of this inner cleanse.
I’d like to add one more way to increase intuitive abilities-Ask for it. Whether you want to ask God, angels, your higher-self or your super-conscious mind, take a moment in the stillness and darkness of the night and ask for guidance. You’ll undoubtedly be directed with the same words I have heard: “You are the one.” Don’t ask for the check. Sit a bit longer, and listen.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Can we ever be certain of our intuition?
It was the fall of 1994 and I was in the middle of my first term of a Master of Fine Arts program at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. We were about to start morning voice and speech warm up when a classmate of mine storms through the Performing Arts Center doors in our usual dramatic fashion.
“Fellas” he began. “I have just seen the woman I’m going to marry. She is a red-head, and I am in love.”
“Did you introduce yourself?” I asked
“Well no, not yet.”
As soon as class was over, another friend of mine and I decide to see for ourselves. We peaked into the adjacent dance studio and asked the love stricken puppy to point her out.
I turn to my other friend. “She is cute. I’m going to have to help this poor boy.” I figured, he was a country bumpkin and I was a street wise kid from the Bronx. I was sure I could help him cut to the chase and impress her.
I spent the next month advising him on how to approach her. What to say, what not to say. I became his Cyrano De Bergerac except he was too scared to speak to her. I introduced myself to the girl before he allowed himself to. I figured it was all for a good cause.
Then came the night I was to meet another classmate to rehearse a scene from Anton Chekov’s play Three Sisters. My scene partner was quite a character. When we would rehearse in her home she would be stricken with a case of narcolepsy and would fall asleep standing- in the middle of our scene! Was I that boring of an actor? I told her we just had to find a place to rehearse that would keep her awake, so we decided to meet the following evening at the Performing Arts Center. She was running late and there I was waiting in the front of the building for my sleeping beauty. Someone else was waiting. It was the red-headed girl. I felt a tug to strike up a conversation. I did not question my intuition. I went over and found out that she was waiting for some friends to celebrate her 21st birthday. We chatted for a few minutes and finally my scene partner arrived.
“Well, I’ve got to go.” I said. Happy Birthday.”
I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. I guarantee you that had I thought for a moment about kissing her on the cheek, I would not have done so. It was one of those rare but exquisite movements that have nothing to do with conscious awareness. You are being moved. The universe does not give you the option to resist or to override. You don’t surrender to the moment. The moment just happens.
My narcoleptic scene partner witnessed my brass and was wide-eyed when we walked into the PAC.
“What are you doing? Are you trying to steal her away?”
“I’m not doing anything. I just gave her a kiss on the cheek. It’s her birthday.”
I truly meant it at the time. Well, my Shakespearean classmate in love did have one date with the girl. There was in her words, “no chemistry." All he did with all the poetic lines I gave him was crack jokes. He gave up his quest to marry the red-head and soon left the university before the first year was out.
It took a few chance encounters and a new year’s resolution to start dating for me to finally ask her out. I did and within three months after our first date, she was inviting me to spend a month with her at her parent's home in Vancouver, Canada. How could I resist. The closest this New Yorker had ever been to the west coast was right where I was standing- Kansas City, Missouri. Sounds like an adventure.
I was not sure where our relationship was going, but she was about to teach me the meaning of certainty.
We were at a seafood restaurant on Vancouver Island enjoying the local catch, when she turns to me and says: “You are the one.”
“I’m the one what?”
“You are the one I’m going to marry.”
My universes split in two. Like a scene from the old show, Ally McBeal. One thought played itself out in my head.
“Can I have the check?”
Another thought actually became reality.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“Because I know.”
We just sat there. I did not question her any further. She had a look of assurance that I could not diminish.
We had only been dating for a few months, but she knew that she and I would be married. 15 years and two little angels later, here we are.
My wife is the visionary of the family. She has seen my potential years before I allowed myself to even consider a higher purpose. She was the one who said to me years ago. “You will be a published author. You will heal through your words”. I have questioned my intuition at times, but have never doubted hers.
Yesterday I received a call from a publisher of a world-wide company who has been moved and inspired by my blog to start circulating it around her company. When I told my wife, she began to well up.
“Why are you crying? I asked.
She then said: “Because this confirms what I have always seen and felt about you. It confirms my own path. I am here to see, then watch things unfold."
I was told not to get my hopes up about getting my blog published as a book. My response is still the same: "Why not?" Why not get my hopes up? I'm not after a book deal. I'm after a state of being. If it feels good to dream of a major book deal, then I choose to feel good. Tomorrow will worry about itself. What is the worst thing that can happen if I get my hopes up? I will still be here. The only difference is that if I get my hopes up and it does not work out, I would have enjoyed the possibility process and have some great memories!
This is the shift I write about. We spend too much time mentally and emotionally preparing ourselves to not be disappointed because it hurts to be let down. The amazing secret is that it is only by allowing ourselves to enjoy the dream of possibilities, even if they do not materialize the way we want them to, expansion, freedom and growth has to flourish. When we get our hopes up, we communicate with creative forces using thier language- feelings of joy.
"Oh, but Dennis, you don't want to jinx it by speaking about a book deal." Where do we get these odd beliefs? So there is voodoo involved in reaching for the stars? We have developed a whole societal infrastructure around preparing for the worst, yet we have more role models than ever before teaching us that we can have it all if we allow ourselves to think, feel, act and play as if we already do. It is time to let go of the notion that we better protect ourselves from disappointments. While we play this mental game of no-risk, a more exciting game is passing us by: Life.
In the meantime, I will dream of getting a wide distribution of my books. I will feel good now and if it does not happen, then I would have had some great feel good moments in the process. There is so much power in feeling as if you already have what you want. The deeper lesson lies in feeling good now, regardless of your circumstances.
Trust that inner voice beckoning you to think big.
If we believe that we are creating our reality as we go along, then intuition is nothing else but our own unique formula for that which we are creating. It is the feelings behind manifestation.
Intuition can indeed keep you from moving in a direction that may be dangerous, but it can also provide you, like it did for my wife, with the sense of peace and confidence needed to surrender to an action that opens doors.
A way to cultivate intuition is to first believe that it is our native language. Human beings are all born with this guidance system and if we choose not to believe so, it remains latent in us. It all starts with belief.
Another way to awaken intuition is to slow down enough to create space between our judgmental thoughts. Take time to, as Ram Dass says “digest your life experiences.” We are so busy having experiences and judging them good or bad that we don’t take the time to just sit and let our natural processes integrate our experiences for our highest good. Intuitive moments are born out of this inner cleanse.
I’d like to add one more way to increase intuitive abilities-Ask for it. Whether you want to ask God, angels, your higher-self or your super-conscious mind, take a moment in the stillness and darkness of the night and ask for guidance. You’ll undoubtedly be directed with the same words I have heard: “You are the one.” Don’t ask for the check. Sit a bit longer, and listen.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 13
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
There are so many places I want to go with The Superman Effect. It is my quest, but it is also the quest of all. I see the mythological hero’s journey; shedding the skin of the old serpent and touching the transcendent, but I also see modern thought from books like Mindsight or Blink, revealing the moment of personal transformation. I believe history, however grim, has much to teach us about whether there are movements afoot towards a collective moment when everything changes: The assasination of Archduke Ferdinand, Pearl Harbor, Woodstock, 9/11, 12/21/2012. As I read about the moment when everything changed in lives of influential people, I keep coming back to one word: Mystery.
“This cannot be real.” As a child I thought this thought all too often. How could I live out an existence where the most dramatic moments were always filled with conflict instead of happiness? I knew that my dad was hurting and that the yelling was a way to release his many years of pain. There was nothing I could do about us being in the line of fire except to withdraw deep into my inner world, searching for freedom amidst fear. I don’t think my father knew how destructive and scary yelling was, especially when directed towards our mother. She did her share of yelling but it was not the same. The man had the physical strength and so the fear that yelling would escalate to violence was always present and always scary.
I looked forward to the moment when a director would yell “cut” and my family would reveal themselves as actors in a movie designed just for me. “This cannot be real.” “What if it is real?” I had to believe that I was on this earth to play and have fun, not to worry about the safety of my mother and sisters. Growing up in the Bronx with news about gang violence, the Son of Sam or rampant drug abuse was frightening enough, was there no place where I can find peace?
I would head to the basement of our home and find peace in retreats of quiet and solitude. There was a peculiar dynamic in these moments of isolation: they typically revealed mysteries that intrigued me enough to attempt to unlock.
My mind has always been curious about mystery. “How could Jesus be my brother and God at the same time? How could he rule with an iron rod and look to be in so much pain nailed to the cross? What is air made out of? Who taught me to breathe? If I dig deep enough, will I really get to China?”
As I lay with my toy soldiers alone in our basement, I feel a pull to look out the 2 ft square window leading up to the ground floor. That is when I saw her. A woman dressed in all black, running towards our back yard. She stops in her tracks to turn and look at me: “Please, don’t follow me.” I could go out the back basement door but that would place me right in the middle of her spooky drama. I decided instead, to go up stairs and look out the ground floor window overlooking my back yard. She was nowhere to be found. I was scared, but it was a different kind of fear. Not of the type that lived with me as familiar broken glass, slamming doors or high pitched screams. It was a fear of the mystery of it all and it was exciting. I had never felt excitement in the presence of fear. Who was she? Where did she go? Why did I see her? What if I would have gone out the back door or spoken to her? What might have happened next?
The next morning I decided to go out into the back yard to see if there were any signs of her visitation. As I scoured the yard, I came across a piece of dirt that seemed less compact than the rest. I started digging and then I found what I was searching for. It was a rock about the size of a human heart with foreign symbols painted on it. I quickly ran inside my house and showed the rock to my mother and sisters. My mother immediately showed it to our tenant who lived in a small apartment adjacent to our basement. The tenant was into Santeria or “the way of the saints”- a mixture of Roman Catholicism and worship of African deities. “This is not good.” she said. “It is a curse and we must get rid of it. Get me a paper bag. We will put it in the bag and take it to a busy street. I will drop it and we will start walking back. You must not look back. Whatever you do, you must not look back.” I felt an unfamiliar thrill go through my body. “I have uncovered something that some say should have remained hidden. Can I do it? Can I get rid of it and not look back?”
Ever since that day, I have been looking for more mystery to be revealed in my life. I have been searching for the moment when I dig up the object of my fear, dispose of it and do not look back. The moment when a new path is charted that is good and full of blessings not curses.
This moment has one purpose: To teach us that fear is an illusion and that the object does not exist. What happens next in the life of one who arrives at this moment is glorious. A new being emerges and a clear vision of service is revealed that is in flow with the forces of the universe. WE are revealed: the royal WE that has as its birthright divine consciousness. This moment brings with it the recognition that we are the creators of our reality and that the time has come to operate from a place of knowing without attention to the vacillations of the human mind.
This book is about the moment. When does it arrive? Can we speed up its arrival? What happens to a person during the moment? Are we headed towards a collective moment when evolution takes a quantum leap and we serve a greater purpose of a grander scale?
I am not alone in this quest for the moment when everything changes. The conscious mind is not aware of all the motions of the universe, but all humans have an insatiable yearning for a fuller integration of mystery into our everyday reality….
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
There are so many places I want to go with The Superman Effect. It is my quest, but it is also the quest of all. I see the mythological hero’s journey; shedding the skin of the old serpent and touching the transcendent, but I also see modern thought from books like Mindsight or Blink, revealing the moment of personal transformation. I believe history, however grim, has much to teach us about whether there are movements afoot towards a collective moment when everything changes: The assasination of Archduke Ferdinand, Pearl Harbor, Woodstock, 9/11, 12/21/2012. As I read about the moment when everything changed in lives of influential people, I keep coming back to one word: Mystery.
“This cannot be real.” As a child I thought this thought all too often. How could I live out an existence where the most dramatic moments were always filled with conflict instead of happiness? I knew that my dad was hurting and that the yelling was a way to release his many years of pain. There was nothing I could do about us being in the line of fire except to withdraw deep into my inner world, searching for freedom amidst fear. I don’t think my father knew how destructive and scary yelling was, especially when directed towards our mother. She did her share of yelling but it was not the same. The man had the physical strength and so the fear that yelling would escalate to violence was always present and always scary.
I looked forward to the moment when a director would yell “cut” and my family would reveal themselves as actors in a movie designed just for me. “This cannot be real.” “What if it is real?” I had to believe that I was on this earth to play and have fun, not to worry about the safety of my mother and sisters. Growing up in the Bronx with news about gang violence, the Son of Sam or rampant drug abuse was frightening enough, was there no place where I can find peace?
I would head to the basement of our home and find peace in retreats of quiet and solitude. There was a peculiar dynamic in these moments of isolation: they typically revealed mysteries that intrigued me enough to attempt to unlock.
My mind has always been curious about mystery. “How could Jesus be my brother and God at the same time? How could he rule with an iron rod and look to be in so much pain nailed to the cross? What is air made out of? Who taught me to breathe? If I dig deep enough, will I really get to China?”
As I lay with my toy soldiers alone in our basement, I feel a pull to look out the 2 ft square window leading up to the ground floor. That is when I saw her. A woman dressed in all black, running towards our back yard. She stops in her tracks to turn and look at me: “Please, don’t follow me.” I could go out the back basement door but that would place me right in the middle of her spooky drama. I decided instead, to go up stairs and look out the ground floor window overlooking my back yard. She was nowhere to be found. I was scared, but it was a different kind of fear. Not of the type that lived with me as familiar broken glass, slamming doors or high pitched screams. It was a fear of the mystery of it all and it was exciting. I had never felt excitement in the presence of fear. Who was she? Where did she go? Why did I see her? What if I would have gone out the back door or spoken to her? What might have happened next?
The next morning I decided to go out into the back yard to see if there were any signs of her visitation. As I scoured the yard, I came across a piece of dirt that seemed less compact than the rest. I started digging and then I found what I was searching for. It was a rock about the size of a human heart with foreign symbols painted on it. I quickly ran inside my house and showed the rock to my mother and sisters. My mother immediately showed it to our tenant who lived in a small apartment adjacent to our basement. The tenant was into Santeria or “the way of the saints”- a mixture of Roman Catholicism and worship of African deities. “This is not good.” she said. “It is a curse and we must get rid of it. Get me a paper bag. We will put it in the bag and take it to a busy street. I will drop it and we will start walking back. You must not look back. Whatever you do, you must not look back.” I felt an unfamiliar thrill go through my body. “I have uncovered something that some say should have remained hidden. Can I do it? Can I get rid of it and not look back?”
Ever since that day, I have been looking for more mystery to be revealed in my life. I have been searching for the moment when I dig up the object of my fear, dispose of it and do not look back. The moment when a new path is charted that is good and full of blessings not curses.
This moment has one purpose: To teach us that fear is an illusion and that the object does not exist. What happens next in the life of one who arrives at this moment is glorious. A new being emerges and a clear vision of service is revealed that is in flow with the forces of the universe. WE are revealed: the royal WE that has as its birthright divine consciousness. This moment brings with it the recognition that we are the creators of our reality and that the time has come to operate from a place of knowing without attention to the vacillations of the human mind.
This book is about the moment. When does it arrive? Can we speed up its arrival? What happens to a person during the moment? Are we headed towards a collective moment when evolution takes a quantum leap and we serve a greater purpose of a grander scale?
I am not alone in this quest for the moment when everything changes. The conscious mind is not aware of all the motions of the universe, but all humans have an insatiable yearning for a fuller integration of mystery into our everyday reality….
Friday, January 22, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 12
Today was one of those days where everything just flowed. I spent the morning at a neighborhood coffee shop connecting with people over the phone about an upcoming tour to Italy that I am selling to view the Shroud of Turin. I decided to call STERA, Inc in Colorado Springs and try to get my tour advertised on their website. STERA stands for the Shroud of Turin Education and Research Association. I left a message for the founder and Executive Director, Barrie M. Schwortz.
Barrie is no ordinary devotee of the Shroud of Turin, believed to be by millions the burial cloth of Jesus Christ. Barrie was the original documenting photographer sent to Turin, Italy by the scientific community in 1988 to investigate the Shroud’s authenticity. The results were conclusive and unanimous. After three independent labs in three different continents attested to the age of the Shroud, it was reported to be a medieval forgery with the linen having a 12th century Carbon-14 date.
The years following, have revealed many questions contesting the validity of the radio-carbon dating, including evidence that there was interwoven fabric from another time period that may have been the cause of the later dating. Faith has reclaimed the Shroud and the book that was closed after the 1988 investigation, has now been re-opened.
I only needed to wait 20 minutes and he returned my call. He agreed to post information about my tour with my name and number on his website which has received 2.8 million unique visitors. He was also kind enough to give me an hour of his time. We spoke about his journey since 1988, his thoughts on what science can answer and what will remain an article of faith and the moment in which everything changed for him. The moment that he knew he would dedicate his life to the propagation of the Shroud. I asked if he would let me profile him in my book and he agreed. Look out for his story in The Superman Effect: Stories of the Moment When Everything Changes.
I asked him: “What does the imprint on the shroud say about the resurrection?”
He mentioned to me that even American chemist Raymond Rogers, who is a leading expert on thermal analysis and also on the original investigative team, claims there is no known radiation that can cause the imprint of the Shroud. What caused the imprint and the detail seen in a photo negative is as much a mystery as the resurrection and will remain that way.
Barrie Schwortz is not a Christian or a messianic Jew, but believes after 25 years of study, that the Shroud is the burial cloth of the historical Jesus. I told him what I told you on the day I quit my job. “I want to see the Shroud.”
To have spent one hour with one of the original team members investigating the Shroud, is manifestation in action.
While we were on the phone, the History Channel called him. Barrie told them he would need to call them back. I was floored. They are doing a two-hour special on the Shroud airing in April in which Barrie will be featured.
It was an amazing time for me to be so close to the history of the Shroud of Turin. He said if I make it to Italy, even if not part of a tour, he will get me in to their lecture hall. There will be scientist present and it promises to be an enlightening experience.
Yesterday, I heard about a woman who has a Spiritual Coaching Certification program. Coming from Academia, I welcome certifications. Her website intrigued me so I sent her a note and my blog. She replied with this message:
“Dear Dennis,
I have enjoyed reading your blog and appreciate your interest the Spiritual Coaching Certification. You certainly have a wonderful writing career in front of you as well as consulting. What a beautiful gift you bring to the world! I am sending your contact information to Director of Education and she will contact you about our program to see if it is a mutual fit.
Many blessings on your journey!”
Metatransformations Consulting is becoming a reality as is everything I dream of. I am convinced that there is no limit to what we can create except the limits we put on who we think we are. I see myself going to book signings all over the world. I feel the exhilaration of speaking to large groups about the relinquishing of fear and illusions, while being fully present for the magic moments at home. Most importantly, I see behind me a trail of many blessing from my journey. Blessing for the others to follow.
My daughter told her first grade school mate yesterday: "My dad is an author and he is selling a million books!"
Barrie is no ordinary devotee of the Shroud of Turin, believed to be by millions the burial cloth of Jesus Christ. Barrie was the original documenting photographer sent to Turin, Italy by the scientific community in 1988 to investigate the Shroud’s authenticity. The results were conclusive and unanimous. After three independent labs in three different continents attested to the age of the Shroud, it was reported to be a medieval forgery with the linen having a 12th century Carbon-14 date.
The years following, have revealed many questions contesting the validity of the radio-carbon dating, including evidence that there was interwoven fabric from another time period that may have been the cause of the later dating. Faith has reclaimed the Shroud and the book that was closed after the 1988 investigation, has now been re-opened.
I only needed to wait 20 minutes and he returned my call. He agreed to post information about my tour with my name and number on his website which has received 2.8 million unique visitors. He was also kind enough to give me an hour of his time. We spoke about his journey since 1988, his thoughts on what science can answer and what will remain an article of faith and the moment in which everything changed for him. The moment that he knew he would dedicate his life to the propagation of the Shroud. I asked if he would let me profile him in my book and he agreed. Look out for his story in The Superman Effect: Stories of the Moment When Everything Changes.
I asked him: “What does the imprint on the shroud say about the resurrection?”
He mentioned to me that even American chemist Raymond Rogers, who is a leading expert on thermal analysis and also on the original investigative team, claims there is no known radiation that can cause the imprint of the Shroud. What caused the imprint and the detail seen in a photo negative is as much a mystery as the resurrection and will remain that way.
Barrie Schwortz is not a Christian or a messianic Jew, but believes after 25 years of study, that the Shroud is the burial cloth of the historical Jesus. I told him what I told you on the day I quit my job. “I want to see the Shroud.”
To have spent one hour with one of the original team members investigating the Shroud, is manifestation in action.
While we were on the phone, the History Channel called him. Barrie told them he would need to call them back. I was floored. They are doing a two-hour special on the Shroud airing in April in which Barrie will be featured.
It was an amazing time for me to be so close to the history of the Shroud of Turin. He said if I make it to Italy, even if not part of a tour, he will get me in to their lecture hall. There will be scientist present and it promises to be an enlightening experience.
Yesterday, I heard about a woman who has a Spiritual Coaching Certification program. Coming from Academia, I welcome certifications. Her website intrigued me so I sent her a note and my blog. She replied with this message:
“Dear Dennis,
I have enjoyed reading your blog and appreciate your interest the Spiritual Coaching Certification. You certainly have a wonderful writing career in front of you as well as consulting. What a beautiful gift you bring to the world! I am sending your contact information to Director of Education and she will contact you about our program to see if it is a mutual fit.
Many blessings on your journey!”
Metatransformations Consulting is becoming a reality as is everything I dream of. I am convinced that there is no limit to what we can create except the limits we put on who we think we are. I see myself going to book signings all over the world. I feel the exhilaration of speaking to large groups about the relinquishing of fear and illusions, while being fully present for the magic moments at home. Most importantly, I see behind me a trail of many blessing from my journey. Blessing for the others to follow.
My daughter told her first grade school mate yesterday: "My dad is an author and he is selling a million books!"
Thursday, January 21, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 11
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
The journey is everything. A friend of mine asked me if I was going to hide my website until it is finished. I thought: “Why would I do that? I want everyone to go through this process of manifestation with me in real-time. I don’t want to focus on just revealing a finished product. 5 billion years ago, If God would have waited until the universe looked perfect and complete, we would still be waiting for the big bang.”
Waiting till the site is perfect, is just another projection of my insecurities. “Is it good enough?” “Am I good enough?” It is time to take a break from self-analysis and trust that I am being guided towards a transcendent, if yet concealed perfection. Not a perfection that I need to explain or even understand but one that I experience with my entire being.
Why do we spend so much time in self-analysis? Human beings are the most complex form of life on this planet, and we spend most of our limited days trying to crack the code of our unlimited human mind. Self-analysis serves its purpose in traditional therapies but when it consumes our thoughts and experiences, it adds density to our energy fields. This density leads to stress, lack of intuition and the inability to even remember our dreams which is an important component to healing and transformation. Meditation is a great way to practice taking a break from self-analysis. Another wonderful way is the practice of non-judgment. Just tell yourself the next time you have a thought that leads to over thinking about your place in the universe: “There is no error in the game. I AM exactly where I need to be and exactly who I need to be at this moment.”
Too much self-analysis rarely leads to insights or bliss. These moments of inspiration are reserved for delightfully spontaneous recognition. Slowing down our thinking and learning to sense the gap between thoughts actually taps the muse on the shoulder and she turns to us showering more inspiration into our lives. There is no error and it’s all a perfect dance.
A friend, who sells high quality ergonomic chairs called me today to invite me to join him at a convention of Dentists tomorrow. The muse is hilarious sometimes. He is not German. He’s Dutch. Close enough!
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
The journey is everything. A friend of mine asked me if I was going to hide my website until it is finished. I thought: “Why would I do that? I want everyone to go through this process of manifestation with me in real-time. I don’t want to focus on just revealing a finished product. 5 billion years ago, If God would have waited until the universe looked perfect and complete, we would still be waiting for the big bang.”
Waiting till the site is perfect, is just another projection of my insecurities. “Is it good enough?” “Am I good enough?” It is time to take a break from self-analysis and trust that I am being guided towards a transcendent, if yet concealed perfection. Not a perfection that I need to explain or even understand but one that I experience with my entire being.
Why do we spend so much time in self-analysis? Human beings are the most complex form of life on this planet, and we spend most of our limited days trying to crack the code of our unlimited human mind. Self-analysis serves its purpose in traditional therapies but when it consumes our thoughts and experiences, it adds density to our energy fields. This density leads to stress, lack of intuition and the inability to even remember our dreams which is an important component to healing and transformation. Meditation is a great way to practice taking a break from self-analysis. Another wonderful way is the practice of non-judgment. Just tell yourself the next time you have a thought that leads to over thinking about your place in the universe: “There is no error in the game. I AM exactly where I need to be and exactly who I need to be at this moment.”
Too much self-analysis rarely leads to insights or bliss. These moments of inspiration are reserved for delightfully spontaneous recognition. Slowing down our thinking and learning to sense the gap between thoughts actually taps the muse on the shoulder and she turns to us showering more inspiration into our lives. There is no error and it’s all a perfect dance.
A friend, who sells high quality ergonomic chairs called me today to invite me to join him at a convention of Dentists tomorrow. The muse is hilarious sometimes. He is not German. He’s Dutch. Close enough!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 10
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Have you ever felt like not meeting anyone’s expectations of what you should do or who you should be? Have you ever felt like not identifying with any role? Have you ever felt like not going in to work? Well, my first big test of life after the university came today: the first day that I just did not feel like writing, reading, meditating nor doing anything? Now to many, this might not seem like a big deal, but for me it is the greatest of all blasphemies. My resistance to not wanting to work today and the pain it caused me was like an apocalyptic battle between good and evil.
I had a few errands to run including going to the social security office to correct my date of birth and going to the dreaded Dental office for a filling. At the Social Security Office, I tried to read while I waited for 35 people in front of me to work through their issues with the non-Spanish speaking teller, the rude homeland security guard, and the loud speaker calling out inaudible sounds that were supposed to feebly direct the next in line. I could not focus on one word I was reading and so I gave up. After 30 minutes had passed, the monitor had registered a progress of one and my dental appointment was in one hour. Having the correct date of birth on my Social Security statement would have to wait. I felt I had wasted the morning and I was in a state of self-pity. The feeling was intensified the minute I walked into the dental office. Anxiety is my Pavlovian response of choice whenever I go to the dentist and I blame the German dentist from the Bronx.
When I was 10 years old, I collided with another boy while playing tag. Now the impact itself was not harmful but the direction it sent both of us created two pools of blood. We banged right into the school’s steel bar fence. He broke his nose and cried like a baby. I just cracked my four front teeth and initiated the inevitable long term relationship with the only dentist in the neighborhood that would take my dad’s insurance. This dentist was the female version of Lawrence Olivier ‘s character in the movie Marathon Man. She was a German dentist in her 70’s and had dental equipment that looked like it was from WWII- the big one. Instead of Olivier’s “Is it safe?” line, she would repeat over and over again with a thick German accent- “A little pressure.” I dreaded my visits with her but I had no choice. She had me right where she wanted me- strapped to a light blue leather chair with a seat belt! By the age of 15, the visits to Glicksman Dental ended but the conditioned response of anxiety and tension remains.
Instead of chalking up the day to social service blues and dental anxiety, I beat myself up for not writing, researching, or selling. I felt all day today like I was strapped to the same WWII dental chair. This time, the chair was the mental trapping of what people would think of me if they knew I did not have a productive day today? What if I never feel productive again? My imprisoned thoughts created tears of fear. I went home and decided to go for a run. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to try to shake off the state I was in. I didn’t know what I would say to my wife when she asked “How was your day?” While I ran listening to Ram Dass on my Ipod, I finally unbuckled my seat belt and released the guy who is not caught up in the drama of meeting other’s expectations. That is when it hit me; I am free. I don’t have to do anything to prove my worth. I can stay calm and centered when inner dramas stemming from 20 year old experiences try to create a bridge to my present reality.
So I had a breakthrough today. Not of the type that comes with a book deal or an opportunity to reach millions but a more important breakthrough, that left me with a feeling of being free of the inner trappings created by years of being on life’s stage. This revelation of freedom from identification with my roles, will do more to prepare me for my new career than any stories I might tell, meetings I might attend, or words I might write.
I could not wait to get on my computer and write about it.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Have you ever felt like not meeting anyone’s expectations of what you should do or who you should be? Have you ever felt like not identifying with any role? Have you ever felt like not going in to work? Well, my first big test of life after the university came today: the first day that I just did not feel like writing, reading, meditating nor doing anything? Now to many, this might not seem like a big deal, but for me it is the greatest of all blasphemies. My resistance to not wanting to work today and the pain it caused me was like an apocalyptic battle between good and evil.
I had a few errands to run including going to the social security office to correct my date of birth and going to the dreaded Dental office for a filling. At the Social Security Office, I tried to read while I waited for 35 people in front of me to work through their issues with the non-Spanish speaking teller, the rude homeland security guard, and the loud speaker calling out inaudible sounds that were supposed to feebly direct the next in line. I could not focus on one word I was reading and so I gave up. After 30 minutes had passed, the monitor had registered a progress of one and my dental appointment was in one hour. Having the correct date of birth on my Social Security statement would have to wait. I felt I had wasted the morning and I was in a state of self-pity. The feeling was intensified the minute I walked into the dental office. Anxiety is my Pavlovian response of choice whenever I go to the dentist and I blame the German dentist from the Bronx.
When I was 10 years old, I collided with another boy while playing tag. Now the impact itself was not harmful but the direction it sent both of us created two pools of blood. We banged right into the school’s steel bar fence. He broke his nose and cried like a baby. I just cracked my four front teeth and initiated the inevitable long term relationship with the only dentist in the neighborhood that would take my dad’s insurance. This dentist was the female version of Lawrence Olivier ‘s character in the movie Marathon Man. She was a German dentist in her 70’s and had dental equipment that looked like it was from WWII- the big one. Instead of Olivier’s “Is it safe?” line, she would repeat over and over again with a thick German accent- “A little pressure.” I dreaded my visits with her but I had no choice. She had me right where she wanted me- strapped to a light blue leather chair with a seat belt! By the age of 15, the visits to Glicksman Dental ended but the conditioned response of anxiety and tension remains.
Instead of chalking up the day to social service blues and dental anxiety, I beat myself up for not writing, researching, or selling. I felt all day today like I was strapped to the same WWII dental chair. This time, the chair was the mental trapping of what people would think of me if they knew I did not have a productive day today? What if I never feel productive again? My imprisoned thoughts created tears of fear. I went home and decided to go for a run. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to try to shake off the state I was in. I didn’t know what I would say to my wife when she asked “How was your day?” While I ran listening to Ram Dass on my Ipod, I finally unbuckled my seat belt and released the guy who is not caught up in the drama of meeting other’s expectations. That is when it hit me; I am free. I don’t have to do anything to prove my worth. I can stay calm and centered when inner dramas stemming from 20 year old experiences try to create a bridge to my present reality.
So I had a breakthrough today. Not of the type that comes with a book deal or an opportunity to reach millions but a more important breakthrough, that left me with a feeling of being free of the inner trappings created by years of being on life’s stage. This revelation of freedom from identification with my roles, will do more to prepare me for my new career than any stories I might tell, meetings I might attend, or words I might write.
I could not wait to get on my computer and write about it.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 9
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
One of my favorite sayings of Ram Dass is “Relax it will all become clearer.” He used to say this during a lecture when the audience looked glazed over, yet straining to follow along. Something hadn’t yet clicked but he was not going to worry about it. These words have never been truer or more poignant for me than they are right now.
Another way to look at letting go of fear is learning to trust. I have a quiet sense of determination and certainty that I am riding the current of bliss. Something tells me that this is the time to believe that not only will I be a published author who transforms lives through a recognition of one’s own perfection, but that I will do it with ease. It will not be hard.
Yesterday, my wife turned on a television show called ironically, The Oprah Effect. It was about how everyone who wanted instant success wanted to get on Oprah and that there was a book written on how to do it. It profiled a few stories including a woman who has been blogging for the past year on her experiences following Oprah’s advice to the letter (WWOD- What Would Oprah Do?). She has since been given a book deal.
Now, watching this show could have been depressing. I could have jumped on the “why is that not me?” Express Train, lamenting the pace of my own instant recognition, except for one small point: This show was created to show me that it will be me! That’s right. The CNBC show, and all the hours put in by writers, producers, set designers and grips subconsciously embedded some of the many hidden messages being revealed to me about how the universe is listening to my desires. A show called not the Superman Effect but the Oprah Effect. (Come on!) A woman landing a book deal from a daily blog (I love it!). A recent acquaintance excited about my writing who happens to have worked with Deepak Chopra and had the forward of her own book written by Wayne Dyer. A dream with James Van Praagh where he reminds me to be patient and just do my work and dreams that release fear all the while putting me in the middle of the Hero’s journey- a perfect model for the Superman Effect.
The “why is that not me” train also leads to a reality: The reality of it not being me. The very fact that I am slowing down my thinking enough to choose to not get on the train, says to me that I am already learning one of life’s greatest lessons. My thinking creates my life. I am not saying I am going to be Oprah. With all deference to the Queen, that is not my goal in life. I am saying I will reach millions through my writing. The how is not important as long as I am clear on the “what” and the “why”. The “how” will make itself known in due time.
“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”- Matthew 6:34.
In other words:
“Relax, it will all become clearer.”
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
One of my favorite sayings of Ram Dass is “Relax it will all become clearer.” He used to say this during a lecture when the audience looked glazed over, yet straining to follow along. Something hadn’t yet clicked but he was not going to worry about it. These words have never been truer or more poignant for me than they are right now.
Another way to look at letting go of fear is learning to trust. I have a quiet sense of determination and certainty that I am riding the current of bliss. Something tells me that this is the time to believe that not only will I be a published author who transforms lives through a recognition of one’s own perfection, but that I will do it with ease. It will not be hard.
Yesterday, my wife turned on a television show called ironically, The Oprah Effect. It was about how everyone who wanted instant success wanted to get on Oprah and that there was a book written on how to do it. It profiled a few stories including a woman who has been blogging for the past year on her experiences following Oprah’s advice to the letter (WWOD- What Would Oprah Do?). She has since been given a book deal.
Now, watching this show could have been depressing. I could have jumped on the “why is that not me?” Express Train, lamenting the pace of my own instant recognition, except for one small point: This show was created to show me that it will be me! That’s right. The CNBC show, and all the hours put in by writers, producers, set designers and grips subconsciously embedded some of the many hidden messages being revealed to me about how the universe is listening to my desires. A show called not the Superman Effect but the Oprah Effect. (Come on!) A woman landing a book deal from a daily blog (I love it!). A recent acquaintance excited about my writing who happens to have worked with Deepak Chopra and had the forward of her own book written by Wayne Dyer. A dream with James Van Praagh where he reminds me to be patient and just do my work and dreams that release fear all the while putting me in the middle of the Hero’s journey- a perfect model for the Superman Effect.
The “why is that not me” train also leads to a reality: The reality of it not being me. The very fact that I am slowing down my thinking enough to choose to not get on the train, says to me that I am already learning one of life’s greatest lessons. My thinking creates my life. I am not saying I am going to be Oprah. With all deference to the Queen, that is not my goal in life. I am saying I will reach millions through my writing. The how is not important as long as I am clear on the “what” and the “why”. The “how” will make itself known in due time.
“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”- Matthew 6:34.
In other words:
“Relax, it will all become clearer.”
Monday, January 18, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 8
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Myths and dreams come from the same place.
As I immerse myself in Joseph Campbell’s work on mythology learning about the hero's journey as a pathway to transformation, it is no surprise that my dream life has become extremely vivid. Or it may have been due to the Night-time yoga DVD I participated in last night?
Whatever the reason, there was some serious unlocking of repressed fear going on in my dream state. Something is working its way out and it is big! The past two nights I have witnessed the most violent and scariest dreams since I saw the archetypal old hag coming at me with an ax at the age of four. Now I must preface what I am about to tell you by saying that I do not watch gory violence on TV or in the movies. I do not read books about creatures of the night. I enjoy fictitious or real communication with an occasional friendly ghost, but take no pleasure in ghouls or goblins threatening to suck me dry or zombies tormenting me for 28 days. However; when the unconscious mind decides to dislodge some deep seeded memories, it chooses from an array of collective sources- the blockbuster movies, popular books, shared mythologies or simply the boundless reference guide: our timeless imagination.
I feel the need to reiterate that I am a non-violent man. I had one fight my entire life and it ended in a draw between two ten year old boys head locked for what seemed to be an hour, until Mrs. Belsky swooped in to break it up. Growing up in the Bronx did not mean I had to rendezvous with the tough guys. I was an actor not a fighter.
Two nights ago I dreamt that my life was threatened by a Chinese family of four. They came at me with Ginsu knives and I defended myself by killing each of them. I felt angry, which is an emotion that had not surfaced for a long time. I don’t like to get angry for fear of losing control. I remember all too vividly, the tantrums I used to throw when I was young and I was aware enough to know that my rants were not of a kid in check. I have also on occasion seen myself blurt out the nastiest of hurtful words when in a state of anger and vowed to keep the expression of my wrath to a bare minimum. I feel more at home with guilt, self criticism and fear than I do with potentially hurting someone else by letting it rip. So it is no wonder that the feeling of violent anger would reveal itself in my dreams. Upon waking, I felt the emotional release that followed this symbolic episode. I enjoy interpreting my dreams and the first image I got when I woke up was that of a dragon being slayed by a righteously indignant hero. Even though the dragon in Chinese mythology does not represent evil, my mental filters may have gotten in the way and personified the dragon with a Chinese family out to do me harm. It was a short dream but very violent. The power of dreams partly lies in their ability to provide a platform for the releasing of unwanted emotions. Now that guilt and its underlying anger has been dealt with, it is time to face existential fear.
Last night, I dreamt of a friendly teenager who wanted my best friend and I to join his club. Sounds harmless enough. Then the proverbial fangs came out. Oh no, it is Twilight in 3D!
I have avoided the Twilight series like the plague in “real” life. No matter- the undead was out to get us. We ran like our souls depended on it and my best friend was able to jump inside a bus before its doors closed. I was not so lucky. I ran as fast as I could after the bus all the while turning around to see the one blood-thirsty teenager turn into 100 vociferous vampires. I was able to grab on to the bus and hang on to a railing long enough for the driver let me in. My best friend and I looked through the window at the back of the bus. “They are gaining on us. Put the pedal to the metal!” Finally some distance. Suddenly I hear a semi-familiar voice “Daddy,Daddy.” It is my three year old daughter to let me know that she wet her pull up. It’s time to change a diaper. I am awake.
“Glad that’s over. What is going on? What am I letting go of?”
I went back to sleep and jumped right back in to Twilight: The Sequel. This time I am with my wife and her father. He is here to protect us. I have no idea what happened to my best friend. As long as my father in law is with us, no harm can come to us. No sooner had I thought this, then he and I were surrounded by vampires. They dive right into my father in law. “Run Dennis, run!!” I find my wife who is lying asleep with sleeping pads over her eyes. “We have to get out of here. Your father is dead. They will come after us. She gets up. I wake up.
Again, it is the feeling I am left with that is most compelling. The imagery is up for interpretation but there is no doubt that I felt a release of fear. In some ways I have slain the dragon that says I won’t cut it as a writer. I have outrun the fear of not measuring up. Dreams are a funny thing because like in life, we avoid the scary scenes. Yet it is in these unwelcomed symbols that healing can be found. The stuff of our life is our vehicle for personal transformation. No exceptions.
Dreams are gifts that say “if you need to use something you already believe is not real, then try this on for size. This might help.”
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Myths and dreams come from the same place.
As I immerse myself in Joseph Campbell’s work on mythology learning about the hero's journey as a pathway to transformation, it is no surprise that my dream life has become extremely vivid. Or it may have been due to the Night-time yoga DVD I participated in last night?
Whatever the reason, there was some serious unlocking of repressed fear going on in my dream state. Something is working its way out and it is big! The past two nights I have witnessed the most violent and scariest dreams since I saw the archetypal old hag coming at me with an ax at the age of four. Now I must preface what I am about to tell you by saying that I do not watch gory violence on TV or in the movies. I do not read books about creatures of the night. I enjoy fictitious or real communication with an occasional friendly ghost, but take no pleasure in ghouls or goblins threatening to suck me dry or zombies tormenting me for 28 days. However; when the unconscious mind decides to dislodge some deep seeded memories, it chooses from an array of collective sources- the blockbuster movies, popular books, shared mythologies or simply the boundless reference guide: our timeless imagination.
I feel the need to reiterate that I am a non-violent man. I had one fight my entire life and it ended in a draw between two ten year old boys head locked for what seemed to be an hour, until Mrs. Belsky swooped in to break it up. Growing up in the Bronx did not mean I had to rendezvous with the tough guys. I was an actor not a fighter.
Two nights ago I dreamt that my life was threatened by a Chinese family of four. They came at me with Ginsu knives and I defended myself by killing each of them. I felt angry, which is an emotion that had not surfaced for a long time. I don’t like to get angry for fear of losing control. I remember all too vividly, the tantrums I used to throw when I was young and I was aware enough to know that my rants were not of a kid in check. I have also on occasion seen myself blurt out the nastiest of hurtful words when in a state of anger and vowed to keep the expression of my wrath to a bare minimum. I feel more at home with guilt, self criticism and fear than I do with potentially hurting someone else by letting it rip. So it is no wonder that the feeling of violent anger would reveal itself in my dreams. Upon waking, I felt the emotional release that followed this symbolic episode. I enjoy interpreting my dreams and the first image I got when I woke up was that of a dragon being slayed by a righteously indignant hero. Even though the dragon in Chinese mythology does not represent evil, my mental filters may have gotten in the way and personified the dragon with a Chinese family out to do me harm. It was a short dream but very violent. The power of dreams partly lies in their ability to provide a platform for the releasing of unwanted emotions. Now that guilt and its underlying anger has been dealt with, it is time to face existential fear.
Last night, I dreamt of a friendly teenager who wanted my best friend and I to join his club. Sounds harmless enough. Then the proverbial fangs came out. Oh no, it is Twilight in 3D!
I have avoided the Twilight series like the plague in “real” life. No matter- the undead was out to get us. We ran like our souls depended on it and my best friend was able to jump inside a bus before its doors closed. I was not so lucky. I ran as fast as I could after the bus all the while turning around to see the one blood-thirsty teenager turn into 100 vociferous vampires. I was able to grab on to the bus and hang on to a railing long enough for the driver let me in. My best friend and I looked through the window at the back of the bus. “They are gaining on us. Put the pedal to the metal!” Finally some distance. Suddenly I hear a semi-familiar voice “Daddy,Daddy.” It is my three year old daughter to let me know that she wet her pull up. It’s time to change a diaper. I am awake.
“Glad that’s over. What is going on? What am I letting go of?”
I went back to sleep and jumped right back in to Twilight: The Sequel. This time I am with my wife and her father. He is here to protect us. I have no idea what happened to my best friend. As long as my father in law is with us, no harm can come to us. No sooner had I thought this, then he and I were surrounded by vampires. They dive right into my father in law. “Run Dennis, run!!” I find my wife who is lying asleep with sleeping pads over her eyes. “We have to get out of here. Your father is dead. They will come after us. She gets up. I wake up.
Again, it is the feeling I am left with that is most compelling. The imagery is up for interpretation but there is no doubt that I felt a release of fear. In some ways I have slain the dragon that says I won’t cut it as a writer. I have outrun the fear of not measuring up. Dreams are a funny thing because like in life, we avoid the scary scenes. Yet it is in these unwelcomed symbols that healing can be found. The stuff of our life is our vehicle for personal transformation. No exceptions.
Dreams are gifts that say “if you need to use something you already believe is not real, then try this on for size. This might help.”
Sunday, January 17, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 7
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
What I love about any creative art, whether it is painting, writing, acting or dancing is that they are all designed to teach us how to be free and welcome grace into our lives. Children live in this state of flow all the time but we learn through the Royal Academy of Socialization to question our own abilities to create. We discover that those that believe there is such a thing as good or bad, better or worse, right or wrong have a lot of power on this earth and we decide that if we are to do well in the game of life, we have to do as they do.
After feeling bad time after time when others tell us as a child we are doing something wrong, the first thing we learn to do is find someone we can make feel as bad as we do. We distort the golden rule and do unto others as has been to us. We learn to judge the actions of others.
“That classmate seems timid and he stutters when the teacher asks him a question. That is bad.
I’ll do better when she calls on me. Oh no, I’m scared and I stuttered too! Someone else stuttering is bad but me stuttering is the worse. I won’t raise my hand again today. What if I don’t know the answer to the next question?”
So we freak out when we don’t know that we know. If we are not absolutely certain that our work will be received as ingenious, inspired and timeless, then we tense up and second guess our every action.
I have seen this pattern manifest itself so many times in my own life. As an actor, I was afraid that my acting was seen as contrived and inauthentic and so the tension this fear caused made my acting become contrived and inauthentic. As a director at a university, I was afraid that I would be seen as a fake who had not thoroughly done his homework before making a decision, so I would doubt the commitment of all those around me assuming others were also not doing their due diligence. As a writer, I have moments of questioning whether I am grabbing too much from other people’s work and these useless inquiries keep me from just letting whatever comes up, come up.
These three examples have the same dynamic at work and it is the only thing keeping me from freely creating. “Judge not, lest you be judged.” What if I had realized as an actor that my only role was to be open when inspiration arrived? What if as a director I recognized that no one cared if I had all the answers? What if as a writer, I just speak on paper and allow my hopes and dreams to touch people’s hearts as it touches mine, not being concerned about projections of the mind?
There is one other creative art that teaches us to be free and that is life itself. Everything we think, feel, say and do is an opportunity to choose to let in happiness. This is true freedom and out of this infinite state of being; manifestation is instantaneous, acting is brilliant, writing is inspired and songs, well, like “Don’t worry, be happy” are whistled across the globe.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
What I love about any creative art, whether it is painting, writing, acting or dancing is that they are all designed to teach us how to be free and welcome grace into our lives. Children live in this state of flow all the time but we learn through the Royal Academy of Socialization to question our own abilities to create. We discover that those that believe there is such a thing as good or bad, better or worse, right or wrong have a lot of power on this earth and we decide that if we are to do well in the game of life, we have to do as they do.
After feeling bad time after time when others tell us as a child we are doing something wrong, the first thing we learn to do is find someone we can make feel as bad as we do. We distort the golden rule and do unto others as has been to us. We learn to judge the actions of others.
“That classmate seems timid and he stutters when the teacher asks him a question. That is bad.
I’ll do better when she calls on me. Oh no, I’m scared and I stuttered too! Someone else stuttering is bad but me stuttering is the worse. I won’t raise my hand again today. What if I don’t know the answer to the next question?”
So we freak out when we don’t know that we know. If we are not absolutely certain that our work will be received as ingenious, inspired and timeless, then we tense up and second guess our every action.
I have seen this pattern manifest itself so many times in my own life. As an actor, I was afraid that my acting was seen as contrived and inauthentic and so the tension this fear caused made my acting become contrived and inauthentic. As a director at a university, I was afraid that I would be seen as a fake who had not thoroughly done his homework before making a decision, so I would doubt the commitment of all those around me assuming others were also not doing their due diligence. As a writer, I have moments of questioning whether I am grabbing too much from other people’s work and these useless inquiries keep me from just letting whatever comes up, come up.
These three examples have the same dynamic at work and it is the only thing keeping me from freely creating. “Judge not, lest you be judged.” What if I had realized as an actor that my only role was to be open when inspiration arrived? What if as a director I recognized that no one cared if I had all the answers? What if as a writer, I just speak on paper and allow my hopes and dreams to touch people’s hearts as it touches mine, not being concerned about projections of the mind?
There is one other creative art that teaches us to be free and that is life itself. Everything we think, feel, say and do is an opportunity to choose to let in happiness. This is true freedom and out of this infinite state of being; manifestation is instantaneous, acting is brilliant, writing is inspired and songs, well, like “Don’t worry, be happy” are whistled across the globe.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 6
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Should I feel guilty about living my life exactly like I want to? I woke up early this morning and went straight to the gym for the first time in over a year, showing my newly laminated Recreation Center ID card to a semi-conscious teenager.
“Do I get a tour?”
“Nope, you just work out.”
“Sounds good to me.”
I only did the treadmill for 30 minutes but it was just enough to get some Chi moving in the right direction. I then took my oldest daughter to her drama class downtown while my wife stayed home to prepare us for a family getaway. We are heading to Boulder, CO and staying the night at what the kids call “a fancy hotel”. This time, I’m leaving my Iphone at home. If a publisher calls and wants to connect with me, it will have to wait till Monday. It’s family time. Now that’s a major shift.
“Now Dennis, do you think it is smart to be staying at an expensive hotel and spa one week after quitting your job?”
“Well Yes, I do!” You see, we can afford to stay at a fancy hotel. I can tell myself a story about how we can’t afford it and that it is irresponsible, but it would not be a true story. Here is my definition of responsibility: The excited state of an entire family being more important than whether they wake up Monday morning with $250 more in their bank account?
I have struggled with how to present my days to others because it sounds too good to be true. I notice myself downplaying the moments of relaxation and contentment. “What did you do today?” “Oh, I had a busy day. I worked on my website, I spoke to my accountant, I called 10 organizations to see if they are interested in tours to Italy and met with a few businessmen about income generation while I write.
I conveniently leave out the activities that are the antithesis of my life at the university:
“After helping to get kids ready for the day, I meditate or do a Yoga video. I then I head to a coffee shop and start writing. I look around the shop and notice there are laptops all around me with people doing what I am doing; living life on their terms, doing it their way. Some are students cramming for the next exam but some are writers pouring through articles and books searching for moments of inspiration. I speak to people all day about my true story and about the possibility of transformation. I meet with my mentor to learn how to better connect with higher energetic frequencies and the Akashic Records. I teach Spanish to an Italian, while he in turn teaches me his native tongue. I take walks in the park- jotting down on a notepad inspired thoughts about my new path, my new books and how I can better serve. In short, I do everything I can to let go of the stresses of the past eight years and function from a place of peace.
Some have asked me whether I think it is wise to share so much about my plans in this blog. “What if your idea gets stolen and someone else writes a book with the same title and uses the same logo?”
My response is: “That would be wonderful! If someone else beats me to the punch then I will read their book. I might even write the forward!”
I believe that if we have found a path which lead to insights that bring us joy, then it is our duty to share it with everyone. Holding back our thoughts so that we convince ourselves that we are in complete control of the way we are viewed, is part of the same energy system that keep us from realizing our inherent potential. To believe that our road to fulfillment is so narrow, that we have to do all we can to prevent our ideas from being taken from us, is fear masquerading as good business sense.
I know there are a myriad of ways to get published, to teach principles of manifestation, to heal others and to let go of fear. I trust in a higher wisdom that has been around the block a bit longer than my human self to gently guide me through the perfect vehicle for my personal growth.
The four of us were at a coffee shop yesterday afternoon playing a card game. It was a set of questions that were to be asked of children as well as adults. The last question was the most fun. My wife started with my oldest daughter. “If you could ask God one question, what would it be?”
My daughter’s response: “God, how old ARE you?”
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Should I feel guilty about living my life exactly like I want to? I woke up early this morning and went straight to the gym for the first time in over a year, showing my newly laminated Recreation Center ID card to a semi-conscious teenager.
“Do I get a tour?”
“Nope, you just work out.”
“Sounds good to me.”
I only did the treadmill for 30 minutes but it was just enough to get some Chi moving in the right direction. I then took my oldest daughter to her drama class downtown while my wife stayed home to prepare us for a family getaway. We are heading to Boulder, CO and staying the night at what the kids call “a fancy hotel”. This time, I’m leaving my Iphone at home. If a publisher calls and wants to connect with me, it will have to wait till Monday. It’s family time. Now that’s a major shift.
“Now Dennis, do you think it is smart to be staying at an expensive hotel and spa one week after quitting your job?”
“Well Yes, I do!” You see, we can afford to stay at a fancy hotel. I can tell myself a story about how we can’t afford it and that it is irresponsible, but it would not be a true story. Here is my definition of responsibility: The excited state of an entire family being more important than whether they wake up Monday morning with $250 more in their bank account?
I have struggled with how to present my days to others because it sounds too good to be true. I notice myself downplaying the moments of relaxation and contentment. “What did you do today?” “Oh, I had a busy day. I worked on my website, I spoke to my accountant, I called 10 organizations to see if they are interested in tours to Italy and met with a few businessmen about income generation while I write.
I conveniently leave out the activities that are the antithesis of my life at the university:
“After helping to get kids ready for the day, I meditate or do a Yoga video. I then I head to a coffee shop and start writing. I look around the shop and notice there are laptops all around me with people doing what I am doing; living life on their terms, doing it their way. Some are students cramming for the next exam but some are writers pouring through articles and books searching for moments of inspiration. I speak to people all day about my true story and about the possibility of transformation. I meet with my mentor to learn how to better connect with higher energetic frequencies and the Akashic Records. I teach Spanish to an Italian, while he in turn teaches me his native tongue. I take walks in the park- jotting down on a notepad inspired thoughts about my new path, my new books and how I can better serve. In short, I do everything I can to let go of the stresses of the past eight years and function from a place of peace.
Some have asked me whether I think it is wise to share so much about my plans in this blog. “What if your idea gets stolen and someone else writes a book with the same title and uses the same logo?”
My response is: “That would be wonderful! If someone else beats me to the punch then I will read their book. I might even write the forward!”
I believe that if we have found a path which lead to insights that bring us joy, then it is our duty to share it with everyone. Holding back our thoughts so that we convince ourselves that we are in complete control of the way we are viewed, is part of the same energy system that keep us from realizing our inherent potential. To believe that our road to fulfillment is so narrow, that we have to do all we can to prevent our ideas from being taken from us, is fear masquerading as good business sense.
I know there are a myriad of ways to get published, to teach principles of manifestation, to heal others and to let go of fear. I trust in a higher wisdom that has been around the block a bit longer than my human self to gently guide me through the perfect vehicle for my personal growth.
The four of us were at a coffee shop yesterday afternoon playing a card game. It was a set of questions that were to be asked of children as well as adults. The last question was the most fun. My wife started with my oldest daughter. “If you could ask God one question, what would it be?”
My daughter’s response: “God, how old ARE you?”
Friday, January 15, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 5
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
It has been one week since my last day at the university and I still feel great! I can sense, especially today, my internal rhythm shifting from a frantic pace where so much seemed unattainable and beyond my control to a cooler, calmer and collected pace that is deliberate and fully mine to create. I need this new way of moving through life if I am going to exude balance and joy. It is important to me that as my preparation meets new opportunities, I stay centered. Centered in the knowledge that I am already where I want to be. I am writing, I am coaching, I am healing and I am loving. I am slowing down and I am creating. I am expanding and I am envisioning. I am doing yoga in the mornings and I am praying in the evenings. There is no where to get to. There is nothing to accomplish and no one to impress.
The gremlins of the past peak their mischievous heads and wonder, “will he let us come out and play?” Every moment that I have is not yet a self-realized moment. I still struggle with my insecurities, but the struggle is losing its chutzpah.
The first few days after I left the university, I observed myself looking at my emails on my Iphone every five minutes, wondering who would reach out to me next, desiring that I be desired. I sent my first blog to all my friends on Facebook and sat and waited to see who would respond first. I heard from a few people I had not heard from in years who expressed being moved by what I had written. Just a few but I’ll take it!
I am starting to feel so comfortable when speaking about my new life. It just pours out of me. “I want to chronicle the turning points in people’s lives when they went from fear to hope. I want to look at the hero’s journey within the context of this moment in history. I want to study the common characteristics that lead one to a purpose driven life. If 70% of Americans are not happy in their current job, then let’s hear from the 30% that are. What led them to the awareness that the moment is perfect? What series of events brought forth transformation, greater service and a realization of one’s true nature?
When you allow yourself to feel good regardless of your current set of circumstances, a vibratory pulse is sent out that catches the attention of all the forces of nature, who have no choice but to turn in your direction and give you everything you want. Your state of joy is not a dream. It is the only reality. The dream is the illusion that there are limits to who you are and what you can accomplish. In case you are thinking, “sounds great Dennis, but how are you going to replace your university salary?” If I told you that yesterday six more months of income “miraculously’ appeared, would you believe me? As Madonna says at the end of her children’s book The English Roses,” I didn’t make this up.”
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
It has been one week since my last day at the university and I still feel great! I can sense, especially today, my internal rhythm shifting from a frantic pace where so much seemed unattainable and beyond my control to a cooler, calmer and collected pace that is deliberate and fully mine to create. I need this new way of moving through life if I am going to exude balance and joy. It is important to me that as my preparation meets new opportunities, I stay centered. Centered in the knowledge that I am already where I want to be. I am writing, I am coaching, I am healing and I am loving. I am slowing down and I am creating. I am expanding and I am envisioning. I am doing yoga in the mornings and I am praying in the evenings. There is no where to get to. There is nothing to accomplish and no one to impress.
The gremlins of the past peak their mischievous heads and wonder, “will he let us come out and play?” Every moment that I have is not yet a self-realized moment. I still struggle with my insecurities, but the struggle is losing its chutzpah.
The first few days after I left the university, I observed myself looking at my emails on my Iphone every five minutes, wondering who would reach out to me next, desiring that I be desired. I sent my first blog to all my friends on Facebook and sat and waited to see who would respond first. I heard from a few people I had not heard from in years who expressed being moved by what I had written. Just a few but I’ll take it!
I am starting to feel so comfortable when speaking about my new life. It just pours out of me. “I want to chronicle the turning points in people’s lives when they went from fear to hope. I want to look at the hero’s journey within the context of this moment in history. I want to study the common characteristics that lead one to a purpose driven life. If 70% of Americans are not happy in their current job, then let’s hear from the 30% that are. What led them to the awareness that the moment is perfect? What series of events brought forth transformation, greater service and a realization of one’s true nature?
When you allow yourself to feel good regardless of your current set of circumstances, a vibratory pulse is sent out that catches the attention of all the forces of nature, who have no choice but to turn in your direction and give you everything you want. Your state of joy is not a dream. It is the only reality. The dream is the illusion that there are limits to who you are and what you can accomplish. In case you are thinking, “sounds great Dennis, but how are you going to replace your university salary?” If I told you that yesterday six more months of income “miraculously’ appeared, would you believe me? As Madonna says at the end of her children’s book The English Roses,” I didn’t make this up.”
Thursday, January 14, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 4
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
“Quite a night, huh hon?” said my wife.
“There has been a lot of death in the past few days.”
All four of us had a restless night. My wife and I were wide awake and the kids were scared to sleep in their own beds so they joined us in ours.
I wish I could say this is an uncommon occurrence. Every night I pray for the protection of my family. I am not frightened by the activity in the home. Annoyed at times yes, but never frightened. I could understand why some parents would be frightened by their three year old child coming into their bedroom crying because there is a woman appearing in the kid’s room.
You see, kids are a magnet for earthbound spirits because confused spirits are attracted to the light of innocence. Part of my mission is to help souls forgive themselves and cross over.
I was asked by my wife three weeks ago to help a friend who was seeing spirits in their home. She too had two children and they too were frightened to sleep in their own room.
“Do you need to come over our house?” the friend asked
“I don’t think so.”
The theory of non-locality tells us that our true essence is not found in any one point in space and time, so the ability to influence energies across vast distances is as easy as communicating at close physical proximity. This is why remote healing is possible and prayer is so powerful.
I began the rosary that evening and quickly got an image of a young blonde girl around 10 years of age. I received empathic impressions of sadness and longing. I told the girl that there is more love waiting for her beyond the light. She deserves to be loved and it is safe to leave the home and go towards the light. I saw her pulling her energy away from me and leaving me with peace and comfort.
The next morning, I emailed my wife’s friend:
“Is it a young female energy?”
“Yes, it is. "she wrote.
"I also sense a woman.” I added. “The little girl likes to see you interact with your own children. She envies the relationship you have. She was a foster child and did not have a good relationship with her foster mother before she passed. I feel that her mother does not want to follow her and is angry that we have intervened.”
“My children are very frightened.”
“I will try to connect with the mother.”
The following night, I decided to start my meditation facing the couch in our living room. I usually sit on my heels but with the couch behind me. Not this night. In my mind’s eye, I quickly became aware of a strong woman with thick black hair and an angry look. She plopped herself right in front of me. I felt the urge to be firm and demanding with her but resisted and instead tried to connect through compassion.
“You did the best you could with your little girl. It is not your fault that she was taken so young. It is not too late to express your love and to let her get to know you.” Her look of irritation was replaced by one of consternation for what was to come next. Intuitively, I projected a golden light emanating from her heart center and watched it grow. She began to cry. She was beginning to forgive herself and decided to follow her daughter.
After she crossed over, a really big man showed up and sat down where she had been sitting. He said he was the husband and was very grateful that she has forgiven herself for the way she treated her daughter. He can now rest too. Very strong energies but when he left, the air in the room felt much lighter.
I emailed this encounter to our friend and added:
I hope it helped. The kids should not be afraid of sleeping in their room. The mother was not happy that the girl crossed over and they may have been picking up on her angry energy. The mother seems to be more at peace now.
Let's get some rest,
Dennis
Our friend said that her children are no longer afraid of sleeping in their room. The house has been quiet.
I had a dream last night with James Van Praagh, the short guy with the funny mustache who sees dead people. You might recall that on the November 11th blog entry I wrote about having emailed him. Well in the dream last night, I pressed him:
“Why haven’t you responded to my email?”
“Will you be patient!” he said. “I’ve been busy.”
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
“Quite a night, huh hon?” said my wife.
“There has been a lot of death in the past few days.”
All four of us had a restless night. My wife and I were wide awake and the kids were scared to sleep in their own beds so they joined us in ours.
I wish I could say this is an uncommon occurrence. Every night I pray for the protection of my family. I am not frightened by the activity in the home. Annoyed at times yes, but never frightened. I could understand why some parents would be frightened by their three year old child coming into their bedroom crying because there is a woman appearing in the kid’s room.
You see, kids are a magnet for earthbound spirits because confused spirits are attracted to the light of innocence. Part of my mission is to help souls forgive themselves and cross over.
I was asked by my wife three weeks ago to help a friend who was seeing spirits in their home. She too had two children and they too were frightened to sleep in their own room.
“Do you need to come over our house?” the friend asked
“I don’t think so.”
The theory of non-locality tells us that our true essence is not found in any one point in space and time, so the ability to influence energies across vast distances is as easy as communicating at close physical proximity. This is why remote healing is possible and prayer is so powerful.
I began the rosary that evening and quickly got an image of a young blonde girl around 10 years of age. I received empathic impressions of sadness and longing. I told the girl that there is more love waiting for her beyond the light. She deserves to be loved and it is safe to leave the home and go towards the light. I saw her pulling her energy away from me and leaving me with peace and comfort.
The next morning, I emailed my wife’s friend:
“Is it a young female energy?”
“Yes, it is. "she wrote.
"I also sense a woman.” I added. “The little girl likes to see you interact with your own children. She envies the relationship you have. She was a foster child and did not have a good relationship with her foster mother before she passed. I feel that her mother does not want to follow her and is angry that we have intervened.”
“My children are very frightened.”
“I will try to connect with the mother.”
The following night, I decided to start my meditation facing the couch in our living room. I usually sit on my heels but with the couch behind me. Not this night. In my mind’s eye, I quickly became aware of a strong woman with thick black hair and an angry look. She plopped herself right in front of me. I felt the urge to be firm and demanding with her but resisted and instead tried to connect through compassion.
“You did the best you could with your little girl. It is not your fault that she was taken so young. It is not too late to express your love and to let her get to know you.” Her look of irritation was replaced by one of consternation for what was to come next. Intuitively, I projected a golden light emanating from her heart center and watched it grow. She began to cry. She was beginning to forgive herself and decided to follow her daughter.
After she crossed over, a really big man showed up and sat down where she had been sitting. He said he was the husband and was very grateful that she has forgiven herself for the way she treated her daughter. He can now rest too. Very strong energies but when he left, the air in the room felt much lighter.
I emailed this encounter to our friend and added:
I hope it helped. The kids should not be afraid of sleeping in their room. The mother was not happy that the girl crossed over and they may have been picking up on her angry energy. The mother seems to be more at peace now.
Let's get some rest,
Dennis
Our friend said that her children are no longer afraid of sleeping in their room. The house has been quiet.
I had a dream last night with James Van Praagh, the short guy with the funny mustache who sees dead people. You might recall that on the November 11th blog entry I wrote about having emailed him. Well in the dream last night, I pressed him:
“Why haven’t you responded to my email?”
“Will you be patient!” he said. “I’ve been busy.”
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 3
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
A couple of days ago, my six year old daughter faced a crisis that she could not comprehend. Her best friend and neighbor could not come over for dinner because she was sleeping over her favorite aunt’s home.
"Daddy, I don’t understand why she does not want to spend time with me? We haven’t seen each other in days and I really miss her.”
“Sweetheart, it’s not that she does not want to spend time with you, it’s that she loves her auntie and had plans to spend the night. I’m sure you will see her soon.”
“But I want to see her now.”
“I know you do. I’m really sorry. We’ll call her tomorrow.”
“What if she can’t tomorrow?”
“Then we’ll try the next day.”
My six year old’s thumb unapologetically makes its way to her little mouth.
I received a call this evening from the mother of my daughter’s friend. Her favorite aunt had a heart attack at work the same days as the sleep over and passed away suddenly. Her last sleep over with her favorite aunt never took place.
Do we ever learn to deal with tragedy and the incomprehensible? As a child, we have no choice but to surrender to not understanding. Our parents tell us over and over- “because I said so.” As a child we learn to repress our impulse to continue to question because we trust that our parents have the best possible answer.
As adults, we do all we can to grasp for some logical meaning in suffering, searching on our own for seemingly rational answers that fit our world view and definition of fairness. We may even decide that our healthiest course of action is to close our hearts when we don’t understand. We turn our focus on others for blame. Whether it is a vengeful God accused of bringing down a plague or a negligent government condemned for refusing to fortify buildings, we need this redirect of our energy to ease the pain and avoid dealing with our feelings of helplessness and dependency.
Yet it is a breaking heart that opens. Now is the time to open our hearts in union with all those hurting in the aftermath of the earthquake in Porto Au Prince, Haiti. We wonder in abject confusion: what is the purpose of suffering on such a massive scale? The answer comes as a distant voice of a parent saying “because it is so.” The question why did so many earth missions come to an abrupt conclusion today cannot be answered. It is our reality, as is the compassionate response of millions all over the world that are left to continue on the work of rediscovering paradise.
Tomorrow morning, I will go to the funeral of my neighbor’s sister and pay my respects. I will try to explain to my daughter that God was ready to take her home. When she asks Why, I will keep silent and hug her tight.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
A couple of days ago, my six year old daughter faced a crisis that she could not comprehend. Her best friend and neighbor could not come over for dinner because she was sleeping over her favorite aunt’s home.
"Daddy, I don’t understand why she does not want to spend time with me? We haven’t seen each other in days and I really miss her.”
“Sweetheart, it’s not that she does not want to spend time with you, it’s that she loves her auntie and had plans to spend the night. I’m sure you will see her soon.”
“But I want to see her now.”
“I know you do. I’m really sorry. We’ll call her tomorrow.”
“What if she can’t tomorrow?”
“Then we’ll try the next day.”
My six year old’s thumb unapologetically makes its way to her little mouth.
I received a call this evening from the mother of my daughter’s friend. Her favorite aunt had a heart attack at work the same days as the sleep over and passed away suddenly. Her last sleep over with her favorite aunt never took place.
Do we ever learn to deal with tragedy and the incomprehensible? As a child, we have no choice but to surrender to not understanding. Our parents tell us over and over- “because I said so.” As a child we learn to repress our impulse to continue to question because we trust that our parents have the best possible answer.
As adults, we do all we can to grasp for some logical meaning in suffering, searching on our own for seemingly rational answers that fit our world view and definition of fairness. We may even decide that our healthiest course of action is to close our hearts when we don’t understand. We turn our focus on others for blame. Whether it is a vengeful God accused of bringing down a plague or a negligent government condemned for refusing to fortify buildings, we need this redirect of our energy to ease the pain and avoid dealing with our feelings of helplessness and dependency.
Yet it is a breaking heart that opens. Now is the time to open our hearts in union with all those hurting in the aftermath of the earthquake in Porto Au Prince, Haiti. We wonder in abject confusion: what is the purpose of suffering on such a massive scale? The answer comes as a distant voice of a parent saying “because it is so.” The question why did so many earth missions come to an abrupt conclusion today cannot be answered. It is our reality, as is the compassionate response of millions all over the world that are left to continue on the work of rediscovering paradise.
Tomorrow morning, I will go to the funeral of my neighbor’s sister and pay my respects. I will try to explain to my daughter that God was ready to take her home. When she asks Why, I will keep silent and hug her tight.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Day 2
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
The night before my last day at the university, my six year old daughter and I were finishing up our prayers when I said to her:
“You know sweetie, tomorrow is a big day.”
“Why daddy?”
“Because tomorrow is daddy’s last day working in the big red building and I’m going to start working as a writer. I’m a little scared.”
“Yeah, I was scared too when I started the 1st grade. Then I made some friends and I wasn’t scared anymore. You just have to make new friends daddy, then everything will be ok.”
I told this story to my fellow co-workers the following morning during my farewell breakfast. I wanted to remind everyone including myself that it is the relationships that we formed these past eight years and the new ones in our future that define the quality of our lives. I was reminded of the importance of connecting with people as a way to reduce fear by a wise six year old and by my buddy Wayne Dyer.
While listening to his CD, Transformation: The Next step to the No Limit Person, I heard a message loud and clear: “Don’t get lost in the fascination of charting a new course and forget the reason why you are doing this.”
It’s easy to make this process about finding ways to replace my old university income, impressing publishers and editors or proving to the world that manifestation really does work. If this is my intention, then fear will undoubtedly set in. But if I keep the real reasons I am doing this in the forefront of my mind and heart: to connect with more people, to serve in a greater way, to heal souls, to raise consciousness and to bridge the gap between me and Me, between myself and my Higher Self, then effortless joy, passion and love replaces fear. Each of these higher intentions has at their root the making of new friends.
The practical aspects of my new life are falling into place. I have heard from three published authors that have offered to help me. I have purchased the domain for metatransformationsconsulting.com, .org, .biz and .universe. (joking on the last one) I have signed up for classes with Dr. Donald Epstein on the 12 Stages of Healing, I am researching the role of mythology in transformation and whether Malcolm Gladwell’s work in books like The Tipping Point or Blink illustrate a transmission of the transformational moment from one to the masses. I can’t however, get lost in thinking that changing my work and life circumstances are the drivers of my writing.
I have had an energy healing teacher and mentor for over a year now. I saw him today and one of the many insights he imparted was regarding whether it is important to conceptualize my path. Is this about helping, writing, leaving a job that had dried up, traveling with my family, astral traveling, transcending form? What is this about? Did I have to leave my secure job?
He told me a story of a man going up a mountain. This man was busy following the path and could see the top of the mountain. Then came the moment when the path was no longer visible. He could still see the top but knew that if he was to reach it, he would have to be guided every step of the way. He became aware that he could no longer be the doer. There was no longer a path, yet he was moving closer and closer to the top. How he would get there did not matter as long as he trusted that he would get there.
These 30 days may lead you to a new career path like it did for me or it may lead to using the path you are on as your vehicle, trusting that either way, you are being perfectly guided every step of the way to deeper connections and an elimination of fear.
I’ve been thinking about the phrase I used yesterday-"Dare to be disappointed." What if for one day, we all focused only on what we believe is too good to be true for our lives? Give it a shot, and see what the mind clings to.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
The night before my last day at the university, my six year old daughter and I were finishing up our prayers when I said to her:
“You know sweetie, tomorrow is a big day.”
“Why daddy?”
“Because tomorrow is daddy’s last day working in the big red building and I’m going to start working as a writer. I’m a little scared.”
“Yeah, I was scared too when I started the 1st grade. Then I made some friends and I wasn’t scared anymore. You just have to make new friends daddy, then everything will be ok.”
I told this story to my fellow co-workers the following morning during my farewell breakfast. I wanted to remind everyone including myself that it is the relationships that we formed these past eight years and the new ones in our future that define the quality of our lives. I was reminded of the importance of connecting with people as a way to reduce fear by a wise six year old and by my buddy Wayne Dyer.
While listening to his CD, Transformation: The Next step to the No Limit Person, I heard a message loud and clear: “Don’t get lost in the fascination of charting a new course and forget the reason why you are doing this.”
It’s easy to make this process about finding ways to replace my old university income, impressing publishers and editors or proving to the world that manifestation really does work. If this is my intention, then fear will undoubtedly set in. But if I keep the real reasons I am doing this in the forefront of my mind and heart: to connect with more people, to serve in a greater way, to heal souls, to raise consciousness and to bridge the gap between me and Me, between myself and my Higher Self, then effortless joy, passion and love replaces fear. Each of these higher intentions has at their root the making of new friends.
The practical aspects of my new life are falling into place. I have heard from three published authors that have offered to help me. I have purchased the domain for metatransformationsconsulting.com, .org, .biz and .universe. (joking on the last one) I have signed up for classes with Dr. Donald Epstein on the 12 Stages of Healing, I am researching the role of mythology in transformation and whether Malcolm Gladwell’s work in books like The Tipping Point or Blink illustrate a transmission of the transformational moment from one to the masses. I can’t however, get lost in thinking that changing my work and life circumstances are the drivers of my writing.
I have had an energy healing teacher and mentor for over a year now. I saw him today and one of the many insights he imparted was regarding whether it is important to conceptualize my path. Is this about helping, writing, leaving a job that had dried up, traveling with my family, astral traveling, transcending form? What is this about? Did I have to leave my secure job?
He told me a story of a man going up a mountain. This man was busy following the path and could see the top of the mountain. Then came the moment when the path was no longer visible. He could still see the top but knew that if he was to reach it, he would have to be guided every step of the way. He became aware that he could no longer be the doer. There was no longer a path, yet he was moving closer and closer to the top. How he would get there did not matter as long as he trusted that he would get there.
These 30 days may lead you to a new career path like it did for me or it may lead to using the path you are on as your vehicle, trusting that either way, you are being perfectly guided every step of the way to deeper connections and an elimination of fear.
I’ve been thinking about the phrase I used yesterday-"Dare to be disappointed." What if for one day, we all focused only on what we believe is too good to be true for our lives? Give it a shot, and see what the mind clings to.
Monday, January 11, 2010
30 Days To A New Life- Monday
Dennis Rodriguez is in:
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Link to the first entry of the Superman Effect- Part I
http://supermaneffect.blogspot.com/2009/10/countdown-to-superman-effect-60-days.html
In case you are wondering how do I feel the Monday after quitting my eight year old management position at a 130 year old university to follow my passions, amidst fears of worldwide economic instability?
I feel great!
I had lived my last day at the university countless times as I envisioned the well wishes, heartfelt hugs, the laughter and the tears. I knew that when the time came to leave, others would cheer me on to my new journey and that I would leave behind a legacy of caring for the whole person. What I also visualized daily was the final Saturday night farewell party. Oh what a night!
If you had to choose one thing that you do better than any other thing. One thing that puts you in a state of ultimate invincibility and confidence, what would it be? For me, it is Disco dancing.
Even though I was born in 1971, the 70’s seem to have left more of an indelible mark in my memory bank than any other decade. Like many in New York City, my father never owned a car, so we used to take a taxi everywhere. The big afro with-a-pick taxi drivers were a regular sight. The smell of leather jackets infused with Newport lights came from all directions including my dad’s. The blinding neon lights and the alternating Salsa and Disco riffs introduced me to a trance-like state. Thanks to my parents and my older sister, Disco music was ever present in our home. They danced with Denny Terrio and his Dance Fever contestants on the tube every Saturday night listening to my father swear that he would be discovered next as a better dancer than John Travolta. Well, if he wasn’t going to be discovered, perhaps he can get his shy seven year old son to take up the mantle. I would do anything to impress my father, so I got over my trepidation and learned to dance Disco- better than him!
As I prepared for weeks to indulge in my Disco night farewell, I had a choice to make: I could mentally prepare for the possibility that I would be disappointed, that no one would show up or that those that showed up would not have a good time. “What if I can’t move as well as I used to?” “What if I put my back out?””I CANNOT tuck my shirt in!” Or I could mentally prepare for a night to remember, a night in which the spirit of John Travolta and my dad would give me that little extra needed to party like it’s 1979. I could visualize a crowd of friends surrounding me while I dance off the wall to ABBA, the Bee Gees and Donna Summers. I chose to dare to be disappointed and to visualize the night exactly as I wanted it. The night before, I had an epiphany: I had visualized Disco night so many times in 3D, surround sound emotions that at some level, I was convinced it had already happened!
At one point during the actual night, I looked through my snazzy 70’s shades and noticed that I was encircled by dancing friends watching me move like I hadn’t in 20 years to “I Will Survive”. It was the epitome of déjà vu. This is the power of manifesting your own reality and this is what my new life is all about.
For the next 30 days, I will write about manifestation. I will blog about the doors that open to publish my first blog as a book. I will document interviews with people from all walks of life to learn about the moment of transformation in their own lives in preparation for my larger work to be published in 2011- The Superman Effect: My Quest for the Moment When Everything Changes. I will manifest a business called Metatransformations Consulting, coaching individuals and teaching classes using the process that I have taken myself through- creative visualization, intuitive healing and higher-self resonance. I will materialize my company logo of Leonardo Davinci’s Vetruvian Man with outstretched wings.
I will choose to align the vibration of my desires with thoughts of my present reality. I will choose to feel good all the time regardless of my circumstance and to dare to be disappointed. If we only realized that when we allow ourselves to dream with no mental safety net, what comes of it is always far greater than what we currently see in the physical. Disappointment in life means you had the courage to have an expanded vision. The universe is still expanding and so should we.
I did hear from the owner of Nexus Journal as I asked to on my November 11th blog entry. He asked if he could include some of my blog in their 30th anniversary edition. After sending him some edits, he said he went to press with it. I told many people to look out for me in the January edition. I was super excited to have over 100,000 subscribers read some of my writing. I went to Whole Foods to pick up a “few” copies of the newspaper and sat down to look for my article. Nowhere to be found. I was disappointed- but with a smile. Perhaps he will publish it next month. I’m still smiling.
The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition
Click link to Vote: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=1005
Link to the first entry of the Superman Effect- Part I
http://supermaneffect.blogspot.com/2009/10/countdown-to-superman-effect-60-days.html
In case you are wondering how do I feel the Monday after quitting my eight year old management position at a 130 year old university to follow my passions, amidst fears of worldwide economic instability?
I feel great!
I had lived my last day at the university countless times as I envisioned the well wishes, heartfelt hugs, the laughter and the tears. I knew that when the time came to leave, others would cheer me on to my new journey and that I would leave behind a legacy of caring for the whole person. What I also visualized daily was the final Saturday night farewell party. Oh what a night!
If you had to choose one thing that you do better than any other thing. One thing that puts you in a state of ultimate invincibility and confidence, what would it be? For me, it is Disco dancing.
Even though I was born in 1971, the 70’s seem to have left more of an indelible mark in my memory bank than any other decade. Like many in New York City, my father never owned a car, so we used to take a taxi everywhere. The big afro with-a-pick taxi drivers were a regular sight. The smell of leather jackets infused with Newport lights came from all directions including my dad’s. The blinding neon lights and the alternating Salsa and Disco riffs introduced me to a trance-like state. Thanks to my parents and my older sister, Disco music was ever present in our home. They danced with Denny Terrio and his Dance Fever contestants on the tube every Saturday night listening to my father swear that he would be discovered next as a better dancer than John Travolta. Well, if he wasn’t going to be discovered, perhaps he can get his shy seven year old son to take up the mantle. I would do anything to impress my father, so I got over my trepidation and learned to dance Disco- better than him!
As I prepared for weeks to indulge in my Disco night farewell, I had a choice to make: I could mentally prepare for the possibility that I would be disappointed, that no one would show up or that those that showed up would not have a good time. “What if I can’t move as well as I used to?” “What if I put my back out?””I CANNOT tuck my shirt in!” Or I could mentally prepare for a night to remember, a night in which the spirit of John Travolta and my dad would give me that little extra needed to party like it’s 1979. I could visualize a crowd of friends surrounding me while I dance off the wall to ABBA, the Bee Gees and Donna Summers. I chose to dare to be disappointed and to visualize the night exactly as I wanted it. The night before, I had an epiphany: I had visualized Disco night so many times in 3D, surround sound emotions that at some level, I was convinced it had already happened!
At one point during the actual night, I looked through my snazzy 70’s shades and noticed that I was encircled by dancing friends watching me move like I hadn’t in 20 years to “I Will Survive”. It was the epitome of déjà vu. This is the power of manifesting your own reality and this is what my new life is all about.
For the next 30 days, I will write about manifestation. I will blog about the doors that open to publish my first blog as a book. I will document interviews with people from all walks of life to learn about the moment of transformation in their own lives in preparation for my larger work to be published in 2011- The Superman Effect: My Quest for the Moment When Everything Changes. I will manifest a business called Metatransformations Consulting, coaching individuals and teaching classes using the process that I have taken myself through- creative visualization, intuitive healing and higher-self resonance. I will materialize my company logo of Leonardo Davinci’s Vetruvian Man with outstretched wings.
I will choose to align the vibration of my desires with thoughts of my present reality. I will choose to feel good all the time regardless of my circumstance and to dare to be disappointed. If we only realized that when we allow ourselves to dream with no mental safety net, what comes of it is always far greater than what we currently see in the physical. Disappointment in life means you had the courage to have an expanded vision. The universe is still expanding and so should we.
I did hear from the owner of Nexus Journal as I asked to on my November 11th blog entry. He asked if he could include some of my blog in their 30th anniversary edition. After sending him some edits, he said he went to press with it. I told many people to look out for me in the January edition. I was super excited to have over 100,000 subscribers read some of my writing. I went to Whole Foods to pick up a “few” copies of the newspaper and sat down to look for my article. Nowhere to be found. I was disappointed- but with a smile. Perhaps he will publish it next month. I’m still smiling.
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