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Today is the third anniversary of my mother in law’s passing. It was a rough evening for all of us. My wife and I had little patience for our two daughter’s misbehavior and hourly tantrums. At one point in the night, we let our oldest daughter just scream and shout in her room. Her choice of words accompanying her wailing was disturbing, but we decided to let her try and calm herself down. She repeated over and over: “help me, help me.” After about a minute, my wife stepped in and attempted to explain how a cry of “help me” can be misinterpreted by the neighbors. I asked my daughter: “What is scaring you?
Through tears she said: "My mind".
Through a bewildered look, I tried to explain to her as best I could that our mind can’t hurt us. That it is just like our dreams. I said a prayer with her and put her to bed.
Last night I saw a ghost with my eyes open for the first time in months. He was a Caucasian man in his mid-60’s standing right next to my side of the bed. Since I had not seen a ghost in so long, I was a bit startled and as soon as I became aware of him, he vanished before I could find out what he wanted. He left me with the impression that he was a kind spirit. What was more surprising was that my youngest daughter, who has not slept in her room a whole night in months for fear of “the woman” or a host of other excuses given to hop into “mommy bed”, slept in her own “big girl bed” soundly all night.
What I find fascinating about all of my communications with earthbound spirits is that they have a similar story to reveal to me. They seem confused but my very presence or anyone else who has an awareness of them, causes the spirit to reclaim a form that they can perceive as real. It’s as if they need us to project their existence. Without me noticing them, they question whether they exist and seem dazed and alarmed. When I notice them, they snap to attention. When I communicate with them, they listen and when I send them towards self-forgiveness, they obey.
It got me thinking, isn’t that what we think we need from each other: validation from others that we and our place in the world makes sense and has significance? We want to be noticed, we want to be seen and heard, and we want to be loved. How good does it feel to hear the words: “I’ve been thinking about you”?
I remember years ago seeing a video of a series of Hakomi sessions in Boulder, CO. A woman was undergoing somatic experience therapy and the multiple sessions were taped. She exhibited so much resistance in the early sessions. You could tell she was not prepared to discard her hard exterior for fear of what she might find inside. By the eighth session however, after having breathed through so many blocks in different parts of her body, she had a cathartic breakthrough. After sobbing, her face softened and she repeated the same phrase over and over: “I exist, I exist. I exist” She had a look of amazement over a fact that is often taken for granted: The miracle of our own existence. Nothing else. Not “I am perfect, wonderful, a child of the Most High, loved, a good father, a good wife. Nothing else. Simply-“I exist.” “My life has meaning because I exist.” I deserve happiness because I exist.” “I don’t have to fear death because I exist.”
So maybe the spirits who have not crossed over need to be reminded that they exist. They can let go of the old plane of reality that is riddled with guilt, sorrow, worry and identification with roles.
Next week, I start a Spiritual Life Coach Certification program. I have a feeling I have not seen the last of my Casper friends.
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